I thought my co-workers were my friends, but now I’m not sure

Dear Amy: I work with wonderful people. There are a dozen of us on the team. We work well together and genuinely enjoy one another’s company and friendship.

When someone has a baby, we throw a shower. For a milestone anniversary with the company, we celebrate that. When someone is ill, we provide support. When someone leaves the company, we bid a fond farewell.

Birthdays often involve surprise treats. We get together for lunch. We go to movies. We laugh a lot. It’s all great, and I’ve always happily participated in and contributed to these things.

Alas, I’ve never been on the receiving end of any of it. My milestone anniversary with the company passed without note, as did a milestone birthday. When I had major surgery … nothing.

Today I received an invitation to contribute to a group housewarming gift for one of my colleagues. Normally, I would be all in. The thing is, I moved to a new house five months ago. All of my coworkers know this. And yet they didn’t band together for a gift.

I am confident that I’m well-liked and respected, but I can’t figure out why I’m not on the collective radar. I find myself really annoyed by this.

Should I just let it go, or can you offer any advice on how to let them know that this is kind of hurtful and insensitive (without actually saying that, of course!)?

I’m planning to retire from this company within the next few years, and I’m already expecting (and pre-disappointed) that it will be a non-event.

Hey, I’m Sitting Right Here!

Dear Right Here! Company doings are often initiated by one or two people who get the collective co-worker social ball rolling.

I’m taking your word for how wonderful these co-workers are, but the fact that your own momentous events have been ignored – when so many others are recognized – is unconscionable.

I suggest that you swallow the momentary embarrassment, adopt a baffled attitude, raise your hand, and let the others in this group know: “I’m always happy to celebrate and contribute to these things, but do you realize that all of my moments are skipped over? Who do I have to know to get on this generous list?”

Dear Amy: Recently I visited a friend who lives a plane ride away.

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𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝘀, 𝗖𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 & 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘆:
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗠𝗖𝗔,
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝗮𝘁

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