Joe Biden has been trying in vain to mainstream a concept he calls “Bidenomics.”
The mystifying slogan appears to be an effort to turn around negative public perceptions of his economic agenda, since polls show only one in three Americans approves of his handling of the economy.
The problem is that nobody seems to have a clue what Bidenomics means.
But the definition has become much clearer over the past week, after the first son’s sweetheart plea deal fell apart in Delaware, two IRS whistleblowers testified to Congress about the DOJ’s obstruction of the criminal investigation into Hunter and Sen. Chuck Grassley released an explosive FBI document alleging that Joe and Hunter received $10 million in bribes from a Ukrainian oligarch.
So here is a handy reckoner for Americans to decipher the president’s new catchphrase.
Bidenomics means everyone has to pay their fair share of tax — unless your name is Hunter Biden, and the statute of limitations is allowed to expire by your father’s DOJ and you never have to pay at least $125,000 tax owed to the IRS, let alone penalties, as IRS supervisory agent Gary Shapley testified to Congress.
Bidenomics is when $8.3 million of your foreign income is examined by investigators in Delaware for potential illegal foreign lobbying, money laundering and tax felonies for five years, but all you end up with is a cozy plea deal on two misdemeanor tax counts.
Bidenomics is when you earn at least $1.3 million as an amateur first-time artist of dubious talent selling paintings to buyers who include a Democratic donor who your powerful father appointed to a prestigious government sinecure, the Commission for the Preservation of America’s Heritage Abroad.
Bidenomics is when you send a menacing WhatsApp message to your Chinese business partners, informing them that you are “sitting here” with your powerful father, and then a few days later they send $5.1 million to your bank accounts.
Bidenomics is when you claim $10,000 dues for a sex club on your tax returns as expenses for your “consulting” business.
Bidenomics is when you pay a couple grand for dinner in a private room at Café Milano in Georgetown for your VP dad to meet your overseas business partners from Ukraine, Russia, and Kazakhstan, and they end up giving you millions of dollars.
Bidenomics is when you convince your baby mama you are so broke she has to take a 75% cut in child-support payments while you fly around in a pal’s private jet and live between a $20,000-a -month spread in Malibu, the White House and a variety of luxury vacation homes belonging to billionaire friends of your dad.
Bidenomics is 10% for the Big Guy.
Bidenomics is when you have seven grandchildren, but you tell everyone you only have six.
Bidenomics is when your out-of-control German shepherd attacks Secret Service personnel at least 10 times in three months, but you never have to pay for their medical bills or torn clothing, or even buy a muzzle for the dog.
Bidenomics is when your son is paid $83,333 a month by a corrupt Ukrainian oligarch, and you threaten to withhold $1 billion in US aid unless the Ukrainian government fires the prosecutor who is investigating the oligarch for corruption.
Bidenomics is when the inflated $83,333 per month your son is paid to sit on the board of a corrupt Ukrainian energy company is cut in half weeks after your term as vice president ends.
Bidenomics means you can live like a billionaire while declaring that you are “the poorest man in Congress.”
Bidenomics is when you secure your son a series of high-paying jobs from your campaign donors straight out of college and he uses his outsize earnings to pay off his own student loans as well as his brother’s.
Bidenomics is when you earn a yearly salary of $44,600 in 1975 as a senator but you can afford to buy a vast 10,000-square-foot DuPont mansion with ballroom, pool house, basketball court, and manicured grounds in the exclusive enclave of Greenville, Del.
Bidenomics is when you luck into another real-estate windfall by selling your DuPont mansion two decades later for a pretty penny to one of your biggest donors, the vice chairman of MBNA, the Delaware credit-card giant.
Bidenomics is when you then get a great deal on a choice lakeside plot of land in Greenville from another donor who sells it to you for the same price he paid for it five years earlier, so you can hire the best builder in Pennsylvania to construct your luxury dream home, complete with a wood-paneled “basement” study installed by custom craftsmen.
Bidenomics is when you get an $8 million joint book deal with your wife and all you sell is 270,000 hardcover copies and your wife sells 29,000.
Bidenomics is when a $30 bag of cocaine appears at the White House, but nobody steps up to claim their property and the combined resources of the Secret Service and the FBI can’t find the owner.
Bidenomics is when your vice-presidential chief of staff organizes a four-month ceremonial role at the United Nations for your sister that pays a cool $26,000, after which your son’s business partner organizes two additional $12,500-per-month “consulting” contracts for her, one with the Biden Foundation and the other with the University of Delaware.
Money for nothing and the chicks (not) for free, that’s Bidenomics.
The only catch is that you have to be a Biden.
As the president’s campaign for a second term heats up, you can bet you will hear a lot more about “Bidenomics.” But now you know it is just the byword for corruption and coverup that dwarfs Watergate and every other Washington scandal in recent memory.
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