We were told our behavior was unfair to the restaurant staff

Dear Amy: As retirees who eat out regularly, my wife and I always leave a cash tip between 20 percent and 25 percent for good service.

If we order something that we simply can’t eat or truly don’t enjoy (e.g., tough meat, too spicy, over-salted, etc.), we send it back and ask for something else.

Even though the returned meal is taken off the bill, we always make it a point to include the price of it as part of the overall gratuity.

To my amazement, several family members are appalled that we would ever return a meal, and feel that we should stay quiet and simply pay for whatever we order, even if it is nearly inedible or tastes terrible.

Overall, they argue that it’s unfair to the restaurant and kitchen staff if something is returned and taken off the bill.

In any event, as this has become a subject of disagreement among several of us, I’d be interested for your input on this matter.

– Resisting at Restaurants

Dear Resisting: This is a matter of degree. If the food was improperly prepared or contains ingredients you can’t safely eat, then you should send it back. It sounds as if this is what you do. Restaurants want their patrons to enjoy their food. It’s good for business.

But if you order chicken parmesan and upon receiving it decide, “Hmm, I just remembered. I don’t really like chicken parm. I’m in the mood for a steak,” then you don’t have a drumstick to stand on.

Dear Amy: I’ve come to increasingly view Mother’s Day with sadness.

Another of these days has come and gone, and my husband staunchly believes that he need not even do so much as say “Happy Mother’s Day” to me.

He also doesn’t remind our kids to acknowledge me, so for many years they have said nothing to me.

It’s not that he forgets. We typically devote the day to visiting our own mothers. But when it comes to me, when I have asked him about his lack of acknowledgment, he shrugs and says, “You’re not my mother.”

Our friends have pointed out, “She’s the mother of your children!” but he just brushes that off.

I’m not after candy or flowers, but just hearing some words from him like, “Thanks for being such a great mom to our kids” would send my heart soaring. But it never happens.

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𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝘀, 𝗖𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 & 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘆:
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗠𝗖𝗔,
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝗮𝘁

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