DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a mom of dual daughters who’re graduating from highschool this yr and making ready to move off to school.
They each dreamed of going to the College of Notre Dame, they usually labored onerous all through highschool to make it occur. When the acceptance letters got here in, considered one of them made it. The opposite, sadly, didn’t. She was devastated.
We inspired her to enroll in a local people faculty with the plan to switch to Notre Dame in a yr or two if issues go effectively. She agreed to this, however ever for the reason that selections got here out, there’s been a whole lot of pressure in our house.
The daughter who received in is making an attempt to not make a giant deal out of it, however she’s clearly excited and proud. The one who didn’t get in feels left behind, and I can inform she’s battling emotions of rejection, jealousy and low self-worth. They’ve been snapping at one another extra typically and preserving their distance.
How can I assist them each on this tough transition with out including extra stress or making one really feel smaller than the opposite?
— Twin Blues
DEAR TWIN BLUES: Did your daughter apply to some other colleges? Schools are so aggressive that it’s clever to forged a large web so that you’ve got decisions.
If she has some other acceptance presents, encourage her to concentrate on these. If not, neighborhood faculty for positive — however not essentially together with her solely objective being a switch to Notre Dame. What’s she involved in? What colleges specialise in these passions?
This can be a pivotal second for each of them to achieve some independence from one another. Sure, will probably be onerous at first, however not going to the identical faculty might turn into precisely what they want.
In the meantime, encourage your daughter to consider her future and plot out a plan. Now’s the time to take cost of her life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe my husband has determined to transform to a brand new faith.
He hasn’t come out and mentioned it formally, however I see a few of the books he’s studying, sure issues he’s minimize out of his eating regimen and holidays he not celebrates.
We’ve been married for about three years, and we’ve all the time been spiritual folks, however for so long as we’ve recognized one another, we had practiced the identical religion and shared the identical beliefs.
Earlier than we received married, we mentioned and agreed on what issues we’d educate our youngsters and what issues we’d enable them to determine on their very own. Now that he’s changing, I’m nervous about our son and what meaning for him.
I believe my husband has the identical concern, and that’s what has been preserving him from telling me explicitly about his new religion. What ought to I do?
— Household Religion
DEAR FAMILY FAITH: I can see that you’re afraid, however now could be the time to talk up.
Inform your husband that you’ve got observed completely different patterns in his practices and religion. Ask him what’s going on and whether or not he’s contemplating changing to a faith that’s completely different from what the 2 of you practiced collectively.
Be genuinely curious; it will enable him to open up with much less trepidation.
Whether it is true, you’ll have to work out how to stick with him when he’s actively pursuing one other approach of participating the world.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
