DEAR ABBY: I’ve been on the identical job for 20-plus years and have accrued a number of trip days. I don’t typically take every week or two at a time; I’ll take a day without work right here and there.
My neighbors can’t get their heads round this and ask me repeatedly, “Don’t you work every day? Do you have Fridays off? Why aren’t you at work?”
It frosts me as a result of they’re implying I’m doing one thing fallacious and suppose my schedule and life are their enterprise.
A lot of the old-timers have left the complicated since I moved in, however just a few busybodies stay. They seem to undergo from “group think” and tend to intrude. (One administration firm dropped us as a result of they interfered a lot.)
It goes proper over their heads that they could be bothering people with questions like this.
I’m now utilizing the hearth stairs and taking totally different routes to keep away from encountering a few of them. Any recommendation?
— THIRD DEGREE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR THIRD DEGREE: May a few of these “old-timers” undergo from cognitive impairment, which is why they persist in asking these questions?
If you’re not serious about answering any query you regard as intrusive, change the topic, ignore the query and preserve strolling.
[Miss Manners answered the same question recently. Here’s what she said.]
DEAR ABBY: I’ve recognized “Bianca” since highschool. She’s my neighbor and godmother to my son. I take into account her a sister, and we journey and spend holidays collectively. Our households get alongside effectively.
A month in the past, my physique began aching throughout. I’ve been feeling sick, and my physician is making an attempt to determine what’s fallacious with me.
Bianca and I bumped into one another, and I informed her I used to be feeling actually sick. She replied, “Stop saying that. Sick, sick, sick. No! Better to say that you are in pain but not sick!” (It was an order.)
Abby, Bianca’s remark took me aback. I informed her I can’t complain to my family members on a regular basis and I assumed I may share together with her. She informed me she will get frightened each time I do it.
I complained to her solely a few occasions in a three-week interval. I’m so unhappy. Bianca is my finest pal.
We discuss on the cellphone, however not as typically as we used to. I do know she realized instantly that she had damage me, however she didn’t apologize. Each time I give it some thought, I get an empty feeling in my abdomen.
I’m not holding a grudge, however now I’m extra cautious about what I say. When she asks about my well being, I alter the topic. What are your ideas on this?
— CENSORED IN ECUADOR
DEAR CENSORED: I’m making an attempt to determine in case your pal Bianca could also be so empathetic that if you point out your bodily ache she experiences it, too, or whether or not she’s simply plain insensitive.
No matter the reason for her incapacity to hearken to you focus on your signs, in order for you this friendship to final, you’ll have to just accept that she isn’t as much as the problem and discover one other outlet.
Contemplate asking your doctor for a referral to a physician who makes a speciality of persistent ache.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
