DEAR HARRIETTE: A few month in the past, a number of members of the family got here to city. Whereas I used to be giving them the grand tour of my metropolis, one among my daughters pointed to the wine and spirits retailer and stated, “This is Mommy’s favorite store.”
Half the group laughed at my daughter’s foolish assertion, however half had been fully silent. I do know that everybody who stayed silent felt simply as embarrassed as me.
I don’t even know why, however I felt uncovered. I don’t need my youngsters considering of me this manner.
I don’t drink every single day, however I in all probability drink somewhat greater than the common individual. I by no means drink after I’m going to work or every other necessary engagements. I drink solely at dwelling after work hours, so I didn’t notice my youngsters had picked up on this.
My consuming hasn’t ever felt dangerous, however for some cause, I can not recover from that second from a number of weeks in the past. Is there one thing flawed with my indulgence?
— Mother Nameless
DEAR MOM ANONYMOUS: Since this considerations you deeply, look at it.
Observe your consuming for the subsequent couple of weeks. Word how usually you really drink and whether or not you’re doing so round your youngsters.
When you assume you drink solely often, if that point coincides with household time, it could appear to your youngsters that consuming is a continuing for you. You might wish to verify that.
Enable your discomfort at their assertion to shine a highlight in your habits so you’ll be able to determine if you wish to change it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I’ve been courting for about two months now, and whereas issues began off actually sturdy, there’s one thing that’s been bothering me an increasing number of: He refuses to indicate me the place he lives.
It feels intentional and calculated. Each time I’ve introduced it up, he dodges the query or offers a obscure excuse.
The primary time, he stated his condo was “under renovation.” Then per week later, he stated his roommate was having household over and the place was “a mess.” One other time he claimed he simply “prefers going out.”
Now that we’re two months in, it’s beginning to really feel like a severe purple flag. We all the time hang around at my place or meet in public. Not as soon as have I seen the skin of his constructing, not to mention been invited in. He all the time drives, however he by no means provides to satisfy at his place or take me there.
After I tried to push somewhat and requested instantly why I’ve by no means seen the place he lives, he laughed it off and stated, “You’ll get there eventually, don’t worry.”
I’m apprehensive. It’s making me really feel like he’s hiding one thing. What ought to I do?
— Off-Limits
DEAR OFF-LIMITS: Inform your boyfriend that it makes you uncomfortable that he appears to be hiding his dwelling from you. One thing as primary as the place an individual lives shouldn’t be off-limits in your thoughts.
Ask him what he’s hiding from you. Is he actually that messy? Does he even have a house, or is he dwelling in momentary housing? Is he actually single, or is he dwelling with a girlfriend or spouse? Inform him all the ideas which might be going by means of your head as a result of he refuses to share this primary a part of his life with you.
Remind him that the best approach to allay your considerations is to indicate you his dwelling.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
