DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbors have a number of gatherings a yr, and they’re all the time potlucks.
If the invitation says, “Bring a dish to share and a bottle of wine,” then I’m comfortable to take action.
Nonetheless, I’m single, and I’ve observed that the {couples} and households additionally deliver just one dish and one bottle of wine.
Am I being petty to suppose that is unfair?
GENTLE READER: Etiquette just isn’t within the enterprise of creating every little thing precisely truthful. Except issues are overtly unfair, it’s extra well mannered to not discover.
Because the level of the potluck is to share, it feels unseemly to rely actual parts. (Maybe the households don’t eat or drink a lot.)
Miss Manners due to this fact suggests you overlook this injustice and save your annoyance for the entire different methods single persons are deprived, inconvenienced and charged extra in our society.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Generally I’m served one thing I don’t need to eat, like meat with fats or gristle. I trim my portion and transfer the trash to the aspect of my plate — inconspicuously, I hope.
As soon as, although, I used to be served peas that had coarse strings that hadn’t been eliminated. So I eliminated them earlier than consuming every one.
Is leaving a pile of particles offensive to the hosts or different diners? Does it indicate that the prepare dinner was sloppy?
GENTLE READER: Maybe, however it’s preferable to choking slowly on pea strings.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be taught by my mom and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that condolence letters are to be acknowledged.
Their follow was to reply each condolence letter with a return letter. It may very well be lengthy or brief, however on the very least it ought to specific gratitude for the sender’s thoughtfulness.
I’ve adopted their follow all through the a long time, and I’ve discovered that writing acknowledgment letters has been very useful to me as I’ve coped with the grief of dropping necessary pals or relations.
Lately, nevertheless, I’ve not obtained any acknowledgment for condolence letters that I’ve despatched. I make it some extent to write down one thing considerate, together with a reminiscence of the deceased and an announcement of my appreciation of her or him. I might by no means ship a preprinted, store-bought condolence card.
Ought to I simply face the truth that most individuals merely don’t write acknowledgments anymore? I’d like to inform them that doing so would possibly assist them of their grieving course of.
It’s also a considerate gesture to acknowledge considerate gestures, proper?
GENTLE READER: Sure, however Miss Manners doesn’t advocate you inform them that. In addition to it being an admonishment, it won’t assist your trigger in the event that they disagree.
But when it makes you’re feeling higher, you might be appropriate. Condolence letters needs to be acknowledged, assuring those that care that their appreciation of the deceased and sympathy for the bereaved was significant.
Doing so may also supply consolation in recognizing the significance of the life that was misplaced.
Or not. However it’s nonetheless the right factor to do.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
