Despite the disrespect, my wife stands by this ‘friend’

Dear Amy: My wife is a doctor who, at the beginning of the pandemic, needed to be extremely cautious about her exposure to COVID.

We asked our adult daughter, “Sarah,” to limit the circle of people she had personal contact with so we could still have in-person visits with her and our grandchildren, while protecting my wife’s patients.

One day we saw a picture of Sarah on social media having cocktails unmasked and indoors at the house of our mutual friend “Carrie.”

We informed both Sarah and Carrie that Sarah now had to quarantine for two weeks.

We called Carrie to ask her to stop these invitations so that we could see our daughter. While we were on the phone with her, Carrie texted Sarah to invite her for cocktails that evening (Sarah was sitting next to us while we called)!

My wife later told Carrie how angry we were. Carrie brushed this off and said my wife was being overly sensitive.

A few weeks later, Carrie’s husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. She promptly informed everyone how important it was that they now isolate.

I have opted to cut contact with Carrie, but my wife says that she will not abandon this friend in a time of need.

Carrie is now on a mission to paint me as the source of friction in her friendship with my wife, and recently criticized me in front of others. My wife did not defend me.

What should I do?

– Concerned Husband

Dear Concerned: You seem to have reached peak adulthood maintaining the belief that you can control other people, simply by asking – or telling – them what to do.

To recap: You and your wife explained to your adult daughter the very serious health risks created by various choices she might make. As the daughter of a doctor (and a functioning parent) who was alive on the planet during the worst of the pandemic, surely she understood your concerns and the reasons behind them.