DEAR ABBY: My 40-year-old daughter is on weight-loss injections and a no-sugar weight-reduction plan.
I supplied to bake her a sugar-free cheesecake for her birthday, and she or he agreed, however she requested me to make a “tester” cake three days earlier than. I defined that the cake has a prolonged preparation course of, involving a really gradual bake in a water tub and 12 hours chill time. She insisted on sampling it forward of time, so I made it early. She lower a slice of it and exclaimed how nice it tasted.
Three days later, I baked and adorned a carrot cake to make use of as her “official” birthday cake, because the sugar-free cake had been lower and wouldn’t look good in pictures. (Carrot is her youngsters’s favourite.)
I hosted everybody at an costly restaurant, gave her French fragrance and a weekend getaway.
Once we returned from the dinner, my daughter angrily stated, “Get in here so we can cut this stupid cake, which I can’t eat!” I used to be shocked and confused.
She stated I shouldn’t have made a cake of a taste she dislikes; I identified that she had the sugar-free cheesecake, too. Apparently, she had anticipated me to bake a second sugar-free cheesecake.
I chewed her out for being ungrateful. Was I improper?
— UNAPPRECIATED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: I used to be beneath the impression that photographs for weight reduction curbed one’s urge for food for sweets (and alcoholic drinks as nicely). Your daughter seems to have an insatiable candy tooth, sugar-free or not.
What she was angling for was two cheesecakes moderately than one. Her angle is entitled and ungrateful, and she or he ought to be ashamed of herself.
I want her luck warding off the load she loses, as a result of her possibilities aren’t nice with that angle.
DEAR ABBY: I grew to become associates with “Brenda” some years in the past. We get pleasure from one another’s friendship and have many pursuits in frequent.
My drawback is {that a} 12 months into our friendship, she confided she had a son who was in jail for against the law I can’t morally forgive.
As a result of he was in jail, I didn’t see an issue with persevering with our friendship.
Brenda simply let me know her son might be launched from jail in a couple of months and might be dwelling along with her. She’s going to need me to satisfy him and has indicated that she desires him to take part in a number of the actions by which now we have been taking part.
How do I inform Brenda that I need nothing to do along with her son however want to proceed our friendship? Is that this even doable?
— BRENDA’S FRIEND IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR BRENDA’S FRIEND: As soon as Brenda’s son is launched and dwelling along with her, depend on the truth that they are going to be joined on the hip until (or till) he can discover a place of his personal. It may change the dynamic of your relationship, other than whether or not he’s a felon.
Telling her you wish to exclude her son from the actions the 2 of you might have loved collectively will NOT go over nicely no matter how diplomatically you phrase it, and it could spell the top of the friendship.
In the event you begin backing away now, it could spark an sincere dialog.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
