DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to present somebody an merchandise that one discovered?
I discovered a very nice bracelet at a park. I took it to my jeweler, who confirmed that it was manufactured from 14-karat white gold, with diamonds and garnets.
I attempted my greatest to seek out the proprietor, putting an advert in a neighborhood on-line publication. It has been some weeks now, and nobody has claimed it.
Somebody pricey to me has garnet as her birthstone. The bracelet is in a mode that I think about would attraction to her.
She will not be one to put on a lot jewellery apart from her marriage ceremony rings — usually simply easy earrings when dressing up. However this piece is dainty and the stones should not ostentatious.
Wouldn’t it be OK to present the bracelet to her?
GENTLE READER: As etiquette prohibits you from snatching a present again out of the recipient’s fingers, Miss Manners recommends towards making a gift of one thing to which you wouldn’t have a transparent title.
It will prevent the embarrassment of getting to clarify to somebody who sees the discover after getting back from an prolonged keep overseas why you now not have the bracelet. Or of explaining to your good friend the way you got here by a precise duplicate of her grandmother’s bracelet, which the grandmother misplaced on a stroll within the park final month.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After 25 years on the identical firm, my function was eradicated by the guardian company. On the subject of former co-workers, who ought to name whom after such a job loss?
I think about this one thing like a sympathy state of affairs, and marvel if the remaining staff ought to name or write me to supply their assist.
If I ought to need to be in contact with a few of my work associates, ought to I make the primary contact? If I’ve not obtained any contact, ought to I assume nobody needs to take action?
Is there any conference for this example?
GENTLE READER: There are a number of conventions, relying on whether or not the connection between the present worker and the departing one is private or solely skilled — and in addition, sadly, on whether or not one desires to do what’s correct or what is often executed.
All too usually, staff fake the individual fired by no means existed, which is each heartless and silly, because it convinces bosses they’ll get the identical response whether or not they make good choices or dangerous ones.
However Miss Manners objects to treating such departures like deaths. Apart from being unduly pessimistic, this makes private assumptions in regards to the phrases of the separation and the emotions of the previous worker. Such assumptions could also be inaccurate and even condescending.
Staff whose jobs are eradicated needs to be handled the identical as different departing staff. Chances are you’ll attain out to precise mates or they could attain out to you — simply be ready to seek out out that some folks you thought have been mates should not so loyal when they don’t see you at work.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s the easiest way to speak “dressy casual” on an invite?
GENTLE READER: With a decoder ring.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, [email protected]; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
