DEAR MISS MANNERS: The primary time my buddy left me ready for her for an hour after we had plans to fulfill for lunch, I expressed my displeasure.
She defended herself with the identical excuses she utilized in her texts to me: She’d been operating late; she’d run into visitors. Within the texts, she repeatedly stated — generally at 15-minute intervals — that she can be there in 5 minutes.
The second time I had plans to fulfill her for lunch, I waited quarter-hour, then left the restaurant.
She was livid and instructed me it was impolite to not inform her I had a deadline. From her standpoint, I had modified the principles on her.
My companion and I invited a pair to our residence to look at a film. I by no means heard from them, regardless of making the invitation by electronic mail, textual content and cellphone name, and asking them to RSVP. Once we heard nothing, we modified our plans.
It was awkward once they confirmed up at our door. We weren’t anticipating company; they had been intent on seeing the film.
After I instructed them we couldn’t probably have them in, they stated I ought to have instructed them.
Maybe I used to be to incorporate a sentence saying, “If I don’t hear from you, this invitation is rescinded”? Am I supposed to incorporate penalties in all my communications?
GENTLE READER: No, you want solely exhibit them, as you might have achieved.
Miss Manners want to suppose that these associates may have now discovered that your invites — and persistence — will not be infinite. However sadly, you and he or she each know higher.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I often entertain a small group of associates for gentle appetizers and dinner.
One buddy normally arrives with a tobacco pouch in his mouth and locations it on his dinner plate whereas he dines. He’ll insert one other pouch after dinner however earlier than dessert.
After I clear the desk, I discover the pouches on his dinner plate in addition to his dessert plate. I’ve even discovered one in every of these foul issues on a linen cocktail serviette in my lounge.
I place the pouches within the trash, the place they have a tendency to supply a foul odor to our kitchen till the can is emptied.
Is there a strategy to let our buddy know that I’d quite he take his used tobacco pouches residence with him quite than have them foul our desk and trash can?
GENTLE READER: He has given you a gift. Now it’s your flip: Subsequent time he’s at your home, give him his very personal used-tobacco holder.
Thoughts you, Miss Manners has no concept if such a factor exists, however imagines one thing the dimensions of a mint tin with a lid on it, or a snack-sized baggie. If you’re artful, you could possibly even adorn it to make it extra presentable. A minimum of the primary time.
At subsequent gatherings, or when he inevitably forgets the unique, maintain extras available which are much less ornamental and extra readily disposable. Or inform him that your home isn’t solely a nonsmoking space, however a tobacco-free one.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
