DEAR ABBY: My husband purchased me a phenomenal diamond ring for our thirty fifth anniversary. Individuals usually ask how a lot it price and why we might spend that.
I do know I don’t have to elucidate myself, and I attempt to be well mannered. We each work, are debt-free and don’t trouble anybody.
What’s the correct approach to reply to questions like this?
— DIAMOND GAL IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR DIAMOND GAL: You’re right. You aren’t obligated to disclose private monetary data, so cease doing it.
There’s no finish to the non-public questions folks ask as of late. If somebody inquires about how a lot your ring price or why you’ll spend that amount of cash, merely reply, “You know, that’s a very personal question, and I’m really not comfortable with it.” Then change the topic.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for 22 years. It was a traditional relationship, and I used to be very comfortable.
Nonetheless, during the last 12 years, my spouse has modified. There’s zero affection, no hugging, holding fingers and nothing sexual. We’re like roommates.
She blames it on having been molested when she was a toddler. Our degree of intimacy was regular for 10 years.
I’ve recommended counseling, however she refuses.
Backside line: Ought to I keep, or ought to I’m going? I’m 64 years previous, and that is my second marriage. I don’t need to begin over.
— STARVED IN INDIANA
DEAR STARVED: Ask your spouse if she ever obtained counseling after she was molested. If she did, she wants extra.
Nonetheless, if she didn’t, then it’s time to elucidate to her that for the final 12 years she has starved you of affection and human contact, and you don’t intend to stay the remainder of your life this manner. Then supply her a alternative: counseling to cope with her challenge or a divorce.
You could not need to begin over, however you might have to.
DEAR ABBY: I introduced my dad with dementia into my dwelling. My husband has coronary heart points. We’re all at one another’s throats on a regular basis.
My siblings promised they might assist handle our dad, however they haven’t helped a lot in any respect. Each occasionally they could take him for a pair hours, however then he’s proper again.
Don’t get me flawed, I like my dad. However we actually might use extra assist, although I really feel responsible asking for it.
Am I purported to really feel this manner? I imply, they’re his kids, too.
— OBLIGATED IN KENTUCKY
DEAR OBLIGATED: I hope you understand you might have introduced this case on your self, and it’s as much as you to do one thing about it.
You stated you are feeling responsible asking your siblings for extra assist taking good care of your father. Lose that responsible feeling! They are his kids, too, however they aren’t thoughts readers.
Inform them what you want, and whether it is extra time to your self and your sick husband, don’t be bashful about saying so.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
