The Strain On Me To Look A Sure Manner Is Overwhelming

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve struggled with physique picture points for years, regardless that I used to be at all times match earlier than getting married.

My husband and I had a child quickly after marrying, which brought about me to achieve weight, and I’ve been scuffling with it ever since.

Regardless of attempting varied diets — like low-carb, intermittent fasting and calorie deficits — I usually discover myself returning to high-carb meals.

Just lately, the strain to look a sure manner has grow to be overwhelming. Whether or not it’s from social media or feedback from others, I really feel always judged.

I wish to concentrate on self-love and acceptance, however it’s tough to quiet the detrimental voices in my head. I’m trying to find methods to really feel assured in my very own pores and skin and break away from these insecurities.

— Physique Picture Insecurities

DEAR BODY IMAGE INSECURITIES: One vital truth so that you can contemplate is that your physique will proceed to alter all through your life. That’s pure.

Having a child adjustments your physique dramatically, and infrequently the “new you” is rarely fairly just like the you from earlier than giving delivery. That’s not unhealthy; it’s simply true.

It’s sensible to eat properly and train, but additionally to provide your self grace and acknowledge that your physique is an ever-changing panorama, and that’s OK. It’s regular.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has grow to be consumed by social media and appears to measure her value by the variety of likes and feedback she receives on her posts.

Initially, she simply wished to learn to use social media to advertise and promote her collections, akin to luggage and sneakers, however it’s now affecting her vanity. My household and I’ve seen that she’s turning into more and more anxious and withdrawn at any time when her posts don’t carry out as she expects.

Whereas I perceive my daughter’s want to succeed on-line, I wish to assist her develop a more healthy relationship with social media and encourage her to focus extra on real-world connections and accomplishments. I wish to provide steerage, however I don’t wish to appear dismissive of her objectives.

How can I assist her handle her social media use whereas fostering a extra optimistic outlook on herself and her work?

— Social Media Stress

DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA PRESSURE: I consider that the most important problem to optimistic vanity in the present day is social media.

Folks of all ages who have interaction in an internet presence severely grapple with the quantity of consideration they obtain and what it means to their enterprise, their psyche and their lives.

You talked about that your daughter makes use of it for her enterprise. Encourage her to share with pals, colleagues and others she meets in person who she has an internet retailer. Balancing the private with on-line might help her to connect with precise folks.

She may wish to select occasions in the course of the day when she is not going to be linked to social media and create a self-discipline for when she absolutely engages.

Sadly, the truth is that if she wants social media to drive her enterprise, she could not be capable of detach from it as a lot as you’d advocate.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.

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The strain on me to look a sure manner is overwhelming

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