DEAR MISS MANNERS: Too usually for my consolation, I discover myself on the backside of a staircase, escorting a lady upstairs.
My intuition is to let the lady go first, however the unlucky result’s that after I observe her up the steps, my eyes are on the stage of her backside. The scenario is much more sophisticated if quick skirts are a part of the equation.
The “solution” of my going up the steps first implies that the lady is then left at eye-level with my buttocks (which my spouse kindly assures me will not be a hardship), probably making them uncomfortable.
To keep away from — or at the least reduce — any discomfort, who ought to proceed up the steps first?
GENTLE READER: The proper process is that the girl goes up the steps first, and a gentleman retains his salacious ideas to himself.
Do you have to go first, nonetheless, Miss Manners, in contrast to your spouse, believes that you’d be in no hazard of thrilling the girl behind you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I acquired an invite to a ninety fifth birthday celebration. Whereas it’s beautiful to be included at such a momentous event, I used to be a bit bowled over on the wording of the invitation.
After asserting the day and time, it learn that no alcohol can be permitted. I perceive that “Jenny” could not desire a bunch of drunks carousing on her special occasion. Nonetheless, I assumed the wording unusual and even a bit unwelcoming.
The invitation additionally introduced “No gifts, please” — once more, positive, as a result of what would 95-year-old Jenny do with them? — however after that, it stated, “There will be a box for cards and cash.”
How would Miss Manners view such an invite?
GENTLE READER: Such an disagreeable invitation.
There isn’t any have to serve alcohol, however there’s additionally no have to concern a warning, as if the company have been prone to smuggle it in. And forbidding presents whereas placing out a money field makes it clear that admission is being charged.
Ordinarily, Miss Manners would advise you to deal with this just like the fundraiser it’s — that’s, to simply accept provided that you take into account it a charity you wish to assist. However contemplating Jenny’s age, another person might need crafted this occasion, and the invitation, on her behalf.
You may wish to keep away from such an individual, and as a substitute pay a separate go to to Jenny to acknowledge her birthday.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I do know that is going to sound nitpicky, however I get very barely offended after I say “Thank you” to a server they usually say “Of course.”
It simply feels bizarre, like a brush-off. It seems like they’re saying, “Of course you are grateful.”
This appears to be a brand new normal response, particularly amongst younger servers. Typically they even appear shocked by my gratitude.
I admit that I are usually overly well mannered (sure, that may be a factor), however I actually am grateful when folks assist me/serve me, and I would like them to know I recognize them.
What ever occurred to “You’re welcome” or perhaps a informal “You bet!”?
GENTLE READER: That nit is already over-picked by people who find themselves offended by the response of “No problem.”
Miss Manners suggests that you just consider “Of course” as quick for “Of course I am honored to serve you.”
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, [email protected]; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
