DEAR ABBY: I’ve a strained relationship with my sister.
There has all the time been loads of drama surrounding her. Through the years, she has all the time performed the sufferer. We discuss provided that one in every of my mother and father is having a well being concern.
At present, my sister is in the midst of a contentious divorce. It has been happening for 2 years, and he or she’s taking her victimhood to the subsequent stage. She’s posting on social media about all types of issues she alleges her estranged husband has accomplished to her.
My spouse and I’ve chosen to remain out of it. Now we have watched them deal with one another badly through the years.
My daughter is now graduating. She’d like to ask her aunt and uncle to her commencement social gathering.
What’s the fitting factor to do? I would favor to not invite both of them. I are not looking for drama at that social gathering.
— GRAD’S DAD IN INDIANA
DEAR DAD: Clarify to your daughter that as a result of her aunt and uncle are at one another’s throats as their divorce drags on, you’re fearful they are going to disrupt the completely happy event and smash it for her, which is why you are feeling it could be an enormous mistake for her to ask them. Then cross your fingers and hope she sees the knowledge.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve a roommate, “Don,” I’ve lived with for 11 years.
At first, we had been relationship, however we broke up, and Don moved out for a yr. We remained mates, and he moved again in to assist me with hire and since he missed the cat. Our relationship has been strictly platonic for the final seven years.
What drives me nuts is after we get in a battle, he by no means fails to carry up my son, name him filthy names and inform me he’s nugatory. This began a yr in the past. My son doesn’t know Don does this.
My son is 44. He sees me solely each couple of months, and Don by no means sees him. My son borrowed cash from me (as soon as) after his dad died three years in the past, however he has paid all of it again. He had some hassle together with his enterprise not too long ago that Don examine on some Yelp critiques.
Don is aware of how a lot I like my son and that I might do something for him. His assaults on my son are merciless and don’t have anything to do with our arguments. I believe he could also be jealous, which is why he needs to harm me.
Generally, Don apologizes and says he gained’t do it once more, however he all the time does. It tears my coronary heart out. I can’t resolve what to do.
— WOUNDED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WOUNDED: So Don has a imply streak and doesn’t battle honest.
The subsequent time he drags your son into one in every of your disagreements to be able to harm you, your response must be, “That’s it. Get out. Get out of here this minute!”
If he’s shocked, inform him that as a result of the hire is greater than you’ll be able to swing alone, you’ve gotten determined to downsize to one thing you’ll be able to afford with out him. If he guarantees to not do it once more, remind him you’ve gotten heard that earlier than and also you don’t plan on tolerating it once more.
Is his rental help definitely worth the verbal abuse? Not in my ebook.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
