DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a pal, Nora, whom I’ve identified since highschool. She now lives in a close-by city, however too far to simply make a go to for the day, so after we do get collectively, it requires a weekend keep for her and her husband.
We do get alongside and revel in their go to, apart from one factor.
Once I entertain, I prefer to plan all of the meals, snacks, and so forth., and put together them prematurely so I don’t spend plenty of time cooking whereas they’re right here. Nevertheless, my pal declares that she shall be getting ready breakfast or no matter and marches into the kitchen regardless of my telling her that I have already got one thing ready.
I’ve allowed her to do that a few instances, however I resent that I’ve needed to freeze a casserole or eliminate what was already ready.
To make issues worse, she is disorganized and sluggish and seems so helpless that her husband will come to the rescue and end cooking no matter it’s she began. Then each bowl, dish, plate and piece of cookware is dirtied, and the kitchen is a wreck!
I’ve tried to politely inform her no, she is my visitor and it’s my pleasure to serve her, however she argues that she is making an attempt to assist and doesn’t need me to do all of the cooking.
The final straw was this weekend, when she introduced she could be making breakfast, and I stated, “No, you’re not. I already have blueberry muffins.” She then stated, “I will just whip up some eggs.” Once I instructed her no, I might maintain breakfast, she screeched, “Well, why not?”
In exasperation, I replied as a result of it’s my kitchen. Her reply completely floored me: She instructed me that she was standing within the kitchen, so it was her kitchen, too!
So earlier than I stated one thing I might remorse, I walked out of the kitchen.
At that time, she stated that we might all simply exit for breakfast, which we ended up doing. I froze the batch of muffins that had been supposed for that morning.
How do I cope with this pushy lady who can’t take no for a solution? By the way in which, I’m a reasonably first rate cook dinner, so that isn’t the difficulty.
GENTLE READER: You’ll must set some agency guidelines with Nora — and make her subsequent go to contingent upon following them.
Define your meal plans, maybe telling her what you’re considering and accepting her (restricted) enter prematurely.
Inform her that if she want to contribute, it have to be in eating places solely. Remind her that if she insists on cooking for you, you’re all the time completely satisfied to go to her home.
Usually, Miss Manners isn’t so calculated about her entertaining (though in a single day friends do require extra specific planning), however Nora is a feisty one. And as she appears to have a proclivity towards declaring issues her personal when they’re in her proximity, you may need to maintain a agency watch on the silver.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited friends to dinner. We had tons of appetizers and meals and nonalcoholic drinks.
One of many friends needed wine, which I didn’t have. Simply earlier than had been had been to sit down all the way down to eat, they went out to purchase a bottle.
Do you suppose that was impolite?
GENTLE READER: Sure. Not solely as a result of it was towards your needs, however as a result of it triggered dinner to be delayed.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, [email protected]; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
