DEAR HARRIETTE: After I learn the letter from “Day Care Woes,” during which the mom stated her son can’t cease crying when dropped off at day care, I used to be reminded of my very own expertise with a baby who wouldn’t cease crying.
I used to be a single mom. After I dropped off my 2-year-old daughter at day care, she wouldn’t cease crying except I held and comforted her for 20 to half-hour — and typically longer. I didn’t wish to depart her in emotional misery.
After every day’s comforting, ultimately my daughter would cease crying and be comfy sufficient to stroll away.
Daily, the day care employee informed me to “just leave.” She stated my daughter can be all proper ultimately. However I trusted my instinct and continued to remain so long as wanted. I arrived early sufficient to consolation my daughter and never be late to work.
After a month, my daughter now not wanted comforting and would run fortunately into the caretaker’s home.
Six months later, the caretaker apologized, saying her recommendation had been unsuitable. Seems one other of her expenses had been doing the identical factor — crying inconsolably at being dropped off — and the caretaker had given the mom the identical recommendation to simply depart him and he’ll recover from it. However even after months, he hadn’t gotten over it and would cry for a very long time after being dropped off.
The caretaker stated she was sorry she’d ever given the recommendation to the opposite mom as a result of it now seemed just like the crying was by no means going to finish.
I’m wondering if “Day Care Woes” was additionally given unhealthy recommendation, and if she solely must take the time to consolation her son every day till he calms down. I think about that being moved from day care to day care is upsetting the boy as nicely.
His continuous crying may very well be one thing else, however it could be price a strive.
— Second Opinion
DEAR SECOND OPINION: Nice illustration of the worth of trusting your intestine.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m working as a nanny for a household I actually take pleasure in. The place has been a very good match. The kid is great, the hours are manageable and I’ve developed a optimistic relationship with the remainder of household.
Nonetheless, there’s one situation that’s beginning to create some stress for me: A part of my tasks embrace driving the kid to and from college, actions and playdates, all utilizing my private automobile.
After I accepted the job, I assumed that any driving bills — like gasoline and put on and tear on my automobile — can be reimbursed, which has been normal in previous nanny jobs. Nonetheless, once I introduced up the topic of gasoline reimbursement with the mother and father, they brushed it off and stated they weren’t keen to cowl these prices.
Whereas I take pleasure in working with this household, I can’t afford to cowl the price of gasoline out of my very own pocket.
I really feel caught between eager to proceed in a job I like and needing to advocate for honest compensation for my work and bills. What ought to I do?
— Bills Paid
DEAR EXPENSES PAID: Let the household know that as a lot as you like your job and their little one, you can not afford to finance the kid’s transportation.
If they’re unwilling to pay for his or her little one’s rides, you will want to search out one other job. Begin wanting as they contemplate their choices.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
