DEAR ABBY: I stay 5 hours away from my hometown. My mother is 98 and in assisted dwelling there.
Lately, my youthful sister has grow to be merciless to our mother and is making an attempt to reap the benefits of her. As an alternative of serving to Mother, she does issues to intentionally upset her and lift her blood strain. Two examples: placing canine poop on my just lately deceased brother’s grave and stealing a gun from Mother’s residence.
She additionally threatened to take away Mother’s recliner from her whereas she was sitting in it.
My sister has prompted main points on the assisted dwelling facility, which tremendously upsets my poor mom, since she loves the care she will get there.
My older brother and I’ve met with an legal professional to get an order of no-trespass, no-contact at Mother’s facility. It’s nonetheless within the course of.
My sister places on a completely totally different masks at her church and has everybody believing she’s a sufferer.
What do you counsel we do sooner or later with this out-of-control, full-of-hate sibling?
— ASHAMED SIS IN ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR SIS: The time period for what your sister has been doing is elder abuse. Stealing and threatening to do one thing that might trigger nice bodily hurt qualifies. Proceed working with the legal professional on the no-contact order and let the method play out.
Your mom’s medical doctors must be advised what has been happening. What the worshippers in her church take into consideration her must be of no consequence.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 55 and have been married for 15 years. I’ve two children, ages 22 and 25. Each are on their very own, dwelling their very own lives.
My spouse is 45. She has a 25-year-old son who lives with us. He has a four-year diploma in pc science and claims he can’t discover a job.
He refuses to search for different employment to fill in till one thing opens up in computer systems. He stays up half the night time getting excessive and taking part in video games on-line, and sleeps till midday.
He has a substantial quantity in his financial savings and is ready to play the inventory market, so it’s not like he’s broke and may’t begin dwelling on his personal.
My spouse gained’t let go as a result of he’s her solely baby. She and I’ve no alone time, no romantic nights and no dinners with out him included. He’s at all times right here and concerned in all the pieces, and I’m uninterested in it. I’ve reached a degree in my life the place I need to take pleasure in my time with my spouse alone.
We’re looking for a brand new home, however I’m able to say we purchase a home collectively alone, simply the 2 of us, or I’m submitting for divorce and shopping for a home on my own.
I really feel it’s well past time for him to be weaned from his mom and get his personal life. Do you agree or am I being overly delicate?
— OVER IT IN ARIZONA
DEAR OVER IT: You aren’t being overly delicate. Your spouse seems to have a severe case of separation nervousness on the subject of her son, which is wholesome for neither.
I assume you’ve got mentioned this along with her to no avail. If that’s not true, you need to. If it IS true, then it’s time for marriage and household remedy with somebody who’s licensed.
In case your spouse refuses to go, the choice could be to schedule an appointment with an legal professional who might help you “untie the knot.”
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
