DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a good friend I’ve identified for over 30 years and contemplate my finest good friend.
She handled me to dinner at a really costly restaurant, and as we had been leaving, she smiled and confirmed me that she had put a butter knife in her purse.
I used to be shocked and dismayed, and it will need to have proven on my face. I mentioned, “Really? You would really do that?” She instructed me that the restaurant had made loads of cash on the meal.
Ought to I’ve mentioned or accomplished extra? I’m nonetheless dissatisfied that my good friend can be dishonest and present such an absence of sophistication. If it ever occurs once more, what ought to I do?
GENTLE READER: Whether or not you need to have accomplished extra is a query for the Morals Division, not the Etiquette Division.
However why, Miss Manners wonders, are you anticipating happening one other heist with this particular person? There isn’t any motive to reply to future invites, as there can be no level in making an attempt to provide a prolonged rationalization to such a person as to why you don’t want to be an Accent to the Theft of Equipment, both earlier than or after the very fact.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After nicely over a 12 months of tolerating political campaigning, we’re fairly fatigued from all of it. The outcomes had been fairly disappointing to us.
Then our pricey neighbor introduced they’re mounting a marketing campaign to run for a state district workplace and requested our substantial monetary and fundraising help.
Whereas understanding the necessity for a yearslong strategic course of to attain this purpose, we have now considerations.
Bodily and financially, we aren’t in a spot to take part. However even when we had been ready, we don’t really feel this particular person has the talent, information or capacity to adequately signify our district. In reality, they’ve by no means run for, a lot much less been elected to, any workplace at any time.
There additionally exist facets of their previous which might grow to be political fodder within the palms of any opponent’s unfavorable marketing campaign.
That is a person we socialize with continuously. How can we politely talk to such a strong-willed, however unskilled, person that we and lots of others really feel they’re merely not proper for the job?
When the announcement was made, we critically thought they had been joking as a result of perceived incapacity to achieve, a lot much less carry out in, such an vital authorities capability.
GENTLE READER: Light readers usually ask Miss Manners how to reply to questions put to them for which there doesn’t look like any well mannered reply.
However you weren’t requested the query you want to reply, specifically, tips on how to inform the particular person they’re unqualified. You had been requested should you would help them for state workplace.
The reply to that query is that you simply want them nicely, however you might be too fatigued after enduring a 12 months of political campaigning. Assuming you aren’t a political advisor by career, that may be a query you might be totally certified to reply.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, [email protected]; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
