DEAR ABBY: My father’s spouse, “Carole,” likes to thrift-shop. She enjoys looking for a superb deal, significantly if she will be able to discover issues for our 5-year-old daughter, “Liana.”
It’s candy how excited she will get when she brings over a pile of latest garments.
The issue is, Carole has actually completely different style than my husband and I do, and most of her purchases aren’t acceptable for a bit lady to be sporting. (I’m speaking scorching pants, tiny tank tops, sequin midriff shirts and leopard miniskirts.) These outfits don’t cross the varsity gown code or the Mama gown code.
We have now instructed Liana she will be able to put on these items solely at dwelling and made a “dress up” field for them. She’s OK with that, however I’m unsure what to inform Carole when she asks why Liana isn’t sporting her new garments.
A number of occasions, I’ve needed to intervene when she’s instructed our daughter to vary into the issues she’s introduced earlier than we exit. I’ve stated issues like, “We like Liana to be more covered up,” but it surely’s like Carole can’t hear me.
How can I spare Carole’s emotions whereas imposing our requirements? This isn’t one thing I’m going to budge on.
— MODEST MAMA IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR MAMA: You may have tried the indirect method. Carole doesn’t get the message. Now it’s time so that you can step up and be a mother.
Inform Carole you might be grateful for her generosity, however you don’t want your daughter “overexposed” in public. Inform her you need Liana to focus on her mental development reasonably than on glitz and glamour, which is why you are feeling sequin midriff shirts, scorching pants and leopard print clothes are usually not acceptable.
Then give her again the gadgets you are feeling are objectionable so she will be able to donate them once more.
DEAR ABBY: My son is 65 and has been courting a 25-year-old he met in his artwork class.
I hold listening to from him that she says she loves him. I inform him it’s ridiculous.
He lives with me and desires to know if she will be able to transfer in with us. I’m 86, and he has been dwelling with me for 10 years, which I’m blessed and grateful for. I instructed him no approach!
I can’t imagine that her mom is even permitting this. Am I too old style, or is that this the brand new fad?
— DISAPPROVING IN ARIZONA
DEAR DISAPPROVING: You’re considering pragmatically. Your son thinks he’s in love.
At 25, a younger lady is taken into account an grownup and able to making her personal decisions in romance — even Could-December ones. It’s doable that she loves your son. (There’s a couple of form of love.)
Earlier than drawing a line within the sand, make an effort to get to know her. With time, she might develop uninterested in being with each of you and determine to maneuver on.
In case you are adamant you can’t tolerate one other lady dwelling in your house, you might be proper to refuse. However I warning you: If you happen to do, chances are you’ll discover your son will transfer out to be together with her.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
