DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m going by way of a little bit of a tough patch in my profession. I’m nonetheless trying to find what’s subsequent, nevertheless it looks like everybody round me retains receiving new alternatives.
The opposite day I labored alongside one in all my buddies, and she or he shared with me that she had gotten a brand new job with an incredible model that we each know and love. I used to be so joyful for her. We had each misplaced our jobs at an analogous time, so it is a long-awaited victory.
Whereas we labored collectively, she had a consumer assembly, and I received to see her in motion. It was wonderful, however I couldn’t assist feeling a little bit of disappointment come over me.
It didn’t really feel as intense or offended as envy, however I noticed that I used to be jealous, and that had me feeling down on myself. I went house feeling dangerous about my profession and feeling responsible for being jealous of my buddy.
I do know comparability is a slippery slope, so how can I keep away from it?
— Profession Troubles
DEAR CAREER TROUBLES: It’s pure so that you can really feel a bit deflated while you see somebody excel if you end up feeling weak. I discover meditation to be useful to reset your state of mind.
As an alternative of permitting your self to fall right into a pity pit, sit quietly and settle your self. Take three deep, cleaning breaths, and invite your being to be refueled with confidence and lightweight. Invite knowledge to fill you and assist information you to what’s subsequent.
Afterward, look once more for potential subsequent steps. Let persistence be your buddy, and do your finest to extract the nice from each expertise, together with that of buddies who’re excelling. Discover what they’re doing proper, and do your finest to emulate that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I made the error of lending a buddy cash.
That is somebody I’ve been shut with for over 20 years. His newest enterprise endeavor is opening a bar.
Once we labored collectively in finance, he had an curiosity in hospitality, so I used to be joyful to listen to that he was lastly bringing that to life.
Alongside the way in which, he spoke to me a few small mortgage of a number of thousand {dollars}. Whereas I couldn’t give him all that he requested for, I trusted him sufficient to lend him a number of thousand. He assured me that in six months, he’d pay me again in full.
Seven months later, I reached out to him asking about progress on the bar and an replace on his compensation, and he requested if he might pay me again over the following 18 months.
I reminded him of our settlement and instructed him that’s an unreasonable compensation plan for a lump sum of cash he received all of sudden.
Is there a strategy to accommodate my buddy with out fully tanking our relationship?
— Fee Plan
DEAR PAYMENT PLAN: Whether or not or not you place your foot down, it’s unlikely that your buddy will provide you with the cash you loaned him any sooner.
He miscalculated how rapidly he would get well the debt. That is the danger that comes with lending cash. Your friendship doesn’t have to finish, although it’s possible you’ll not need to lend him cash once more.
Except you possibly can afford to lose it, lending cash to family members is harmful. It’s higher to make a present of what you possibly can afford, thereby avoiding the danger of disappointment and monetary insecurity.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You possibly can ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
