DEAR ABBY: Our 23-year-old son, “Ed,” was clean-cut, into understanding and staying wholesome, watched his food plan — he even joined a gymnasium and was going each week.
He has been courting a woman, “Emily,” who’s the exact opposite. She’s in all probability 100 kilos obese. She’s additionally soiled (when she comes right here, there have been days she doesn’t take a bathe).
Twice I’ve discovered Emily’s lingerie on the ground. Final week, she left a pair of her panties on the lavatory ground. I confirmed Ed and informed him that was the second time I had discovered her underwear (the primary time I didn’t say something). I mentioned, “You have to talk to Emily and tell her not to leave her underwear laying around.”
I see a change in Ed. My son hasn’t minimize his hair in 2½ and he now not seems to be as into understanding.
This isn’t who we’re as a household. My husband and I are match for our ages (60s) and by all requirements clear and orderly.
Ought to I say something to Ed? I really feel like Emily is altering who he’s.
— NOT THE SAME IN THE EAST
DEAR NOT THE SAME: Please cease blaming Emily for the modifications you may have noticed. Your son is making these modifications himself.
Though his girlfriend seems to be ignorant about fundamental hygiene, I’m not certain you’re the mum or dad who ought to focus on this with Ed. He is likely to be much less defensive if “the talk” comes from his father, man to man.
I’m unclear in case your son nonetheless lives within the house with you or if he and his girlfriend have a spot of their very own. If it’s the previous, you will surely be inside your rights to level out that you’ve a hamper for dirty garments and to please use it. In the event that they stay individually, take into account gifting them one for his or her place.
DEAR ABBY: My husband handed away three years in the past. We have been married for 56 years.
4 months previous to our massive, Catholic wedding ceremony in California, we eloped and have been married secretly in Las Vegas. Nobody ever discovered. Coming from a Hispanic household, my father wouldn’t have been receptive, so we mentioned nothing.
On reflection, it was a silly factor to do. I used to be solely 19, and he was 22.
I’ve two grownup daughters, and I’m questioning if that is one thing they should know.
I nonetheless have our Las Vegas marriage certificates, together with our California marriage certificates — the one we all the time celebrated as our anniversary date. Would it not be fallacious to tear up the Las Vegas certificates and take this secret to my grave?
— WONDERING IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WONDERING: I don’t suppose an elopement between a younger couple who’re deeply in love is something to be ashamed of. Nor do I believe your love story is in any respect “stupid.” So long as they damage nobody, of us are entitled to some “secrets.”
In the event you want to take this one to your grave, it’s your privilege, and you’ll get no argument from me. I’d, nevertheless, level out that as a result of your first marriage license is a authorized doc, fairly than destroy it, preserve it below lock and key till you may have left this earthly toil.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
