DEAR MISS MANNERS: When chopping meat on the dinner desk, my spouse of practically 50 years holds her fork as if she’s stabbing somebody.
It apparently doesn’t embarrass her, nevertheless it makes me cringe inside.
I suppose I ought to have talked about this an extended, very long time in the past, however how would I even have gone about doing that? Or ought to I simply let it experience?
GENTLE READER: After 50 years, you would possibly let issues be. Miss Manners can perceive your having waited to make sure your new bride was not going to behave on that violent impulse, however by now, she has had ample alternative.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I wanted to have the washer and dryer changed in my residence, and two upkeep staff confirmed as much as do the work round breakfast time.
I often make breakfast for my husband earlier than he heads to high school, however I felt uncomfortable cooking for the 2 of us with out providing something to the upkeep males who had been there. So I declined to make breakfast as a result of I didn’t need to cook dinner for 2 further folks.
My husband thinks I used to be fooling around and may have simply made breakfast for us with out worrying about them.
What would Miss Manners have achieved on this state of affairs?
GENTLE READER: Not disadvantaged her husband of breakfast on the grounds that others didn’t have the sense to have their very own meals earlier than they left for work.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m retired, and I volunteer 4 days per week at a senior middle.
I help low-income seniors with easy duties, taking part in video games and common socialization, and I additionally assist serve the day by day communal meal.
The staff of the group are possible thought of my supervisors, however we’re additionally fairly pleasant and I assumed we’d established friendships.
I suffered a stroke lately and was hospitalized for a few weeks. A number of of the seniors who’ve my cellphone quantity known as and kindly expressed their therapeutic ideas and desires, however nobody I “work for” (the nonprofit and its workers) has expressed a thought, known as or proven even a touch of caring.
I really feel like I don’t need to return to my duties after therapeutic, solely as a result of none of them appear to overlook me sufficient to say so. Admittedly, my emotions are damage.
Any thought how I can pointedly, but politely, inform them of my determination and the way their conduct, or lack thereof, led me to this determination?
GENTLE READER: The issue with the all-too-common rhetoric concerning the firm (any firm) being a “family” and your co-workers being pals is that it’s, as you’ve sadly found, insincere.
Miss Manners doesn’t imply to say that nobody makes lasting friendships at work. However your expectation that friendship got here with the job was unrealistic.
You’re in fact free to not return, however a letter explaining your causes will probably be shrugged off as naive — and maybe as proof that you’re proper to not come again.
The real infraction is that every one the individuals who know it’s a lie proceed to repeat it.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
