DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister-in-law “Kate” labored for me for a number of years. Final summer time, she had a child and stated she’d return to work instantly after maternity depart.
The week earlier than she was to come back again to work, I emailed her the upcoming work schedule. Kate knowledgeable me that she wouldn’t be returning. I needed to ship again a scathing electronic mail, however as an alternative I replied, “I am at a loss for words, and you put me in a difficult position as far as scheduling for the holiday shopping season.” She replied, “Sorry.”
I ended up having to work further hours with out pay. It was exhausting making an attempt to make up for her absence.
Ultimately, I discovered that Kate had by no means meant to come back again to work. I noticed texts of her telling individuals to “keep it a secret” from me.
This previous weekend, Kate talked about that their funds had been tight, and she or he was seeking to get her job again. After what she did, I’ve completely no intention of hiring her once more.
Do I inform her that time clean or let her apply and simply not rent her? How ought to I take care of the fallout from the household?
— Household Enterprise
DEAR FAMILY BUSINESS: Your sister-in-law has burned that bridge. She can’t be trusted.
It is best to communicate to her and let her know the way egocentric and deceitful her conduct was concerning her maternity depart and returning to work. Whereas individuals do these issues generally in an effort to get as a lot cash out of their jobs as doable, she is household. She shouldn’t have taken benefit of you in that manner.
Until she is your solely possibility, don’t rent her again. If you happen to want her, make her a probationary rent. She might want to show her loyalty. With a brand new child and the various challenges that may come from establishing a brand new rhythm in her life, she must make a giant effort to show herself.
DEAR HARRIETTE: This letter is concerning “Off-Limits,” who desires a boyfriend of two months to disclose the place he lives.
Your recommendation to be direct was good, however there are maybe different causes he doesn’t need “Off-Limits” to see the place he lives — perhaps he lives at dwelling along with his mother and father or in transitional housing and is embarrassed about this; perhaps he’s deciphering the request as a method to get him in mattress, and he’s not prepared for that. In any case, these two must have an open dialog as you really helpful!
— Fan of Yours
DEAR FAN OF YOURS: Good further issues. Thanks. Sure, speaking is important!
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m writing in regards to the letter you obtained from “Off-Limits.”
My thought is that probably the boyfriend has had an expertise with an individual that he had dated a short while changing into a stalker after they broke up. Possibly he’s feeling it’s greatest to know somebody longer than two months earlier than he invitations them to know the place he lives.
— One other Angle
DEAR ANOTHER ANGLE: Stalkers are exhausting to shake. Being protecting of your private area is smart earlier than you let someone all the best way in to your life.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
