DEAR HARRIETTE: Immediately, my son got here dwelling from kindergarten and casually instructed me that one in every of his classmates had hit him throughout the faculty day.
Naturally, I used to be involved and requested him extra about what occurred. He didn’t appear too upset, however he did say it harm and that he didn’t know why the opposite child did it.
What actually confused me is that his trainer didn’t point out something to me at pickup — not a phrase about any incident or behavioral challenge.
As a mum or dad, I don’t wish to overreact, however I additionally don’t wish to ignore one thing that could possibly be severe. I’m feeling a mixture of feelings: confusion, frustration and a little bit fear. I wish to be sure my baby feels secure in school, however I additionally know that youngsters at that age are nonetheless studying the way to deal with feelings and social interactions.
I don’t wish to create drama with the trainer or the opposite baby’s dad and mom, however I do really feel like I need to know when one thing like this occurs.
How ought to I method this? Ought to I attain out to the trainer immediately and ask for extra info, or ought to I wait and see if it occurs once more? How do I speak to my son about standing up for himself with out encouraging him to be aggressive in return?
— College Daze
DEAR SCHOOL DAZE: Speak to your baby’s trainer first. Calmly share what you realized, and ask the trainer what occurred.
Clarify that you simply wish to know when altercations happen, even when nothing severe resulted, as you might be instructing your baby the way to behave in all conditions, together with tense ones. Ask about faculty protocols relating to violence of any sort.
As soon as you understand what occurred, speak to your son about the way to cope with battle with out violence and with respect. It’s by no means too early to strengthen the way to work together with management and beauty.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I bumped into a girl I went to high school with a few years in the past. After we noticed one another, she reached out to hug me instantly and specific her pleasure at reconnecting. I had no thought who she was!
It seems that greater than 40 years in the past we had been on the similar faculty and took part in a efficiency collectively. She remembers it vividly; I don’t. I vaguely bear in mind her face, however that’s about it.
How do you deal with a scenario like this? This girl was so excited to see me and clearly a bit disenchanted that I had no recall of her.
— Reminiscence Loss
DEAR MEMORY LOSS: It’s OK that you simply don’t bear in mind these particulars from way back. Simply pay attention. You’ll be able to even ask her to refresh your reminiscence.
Acknowledge her pleasure in reconnecting with you. In the event you really feel that you simply want to know this girl now, trade numbers. In any other case, simply be sort. If you would like, you’ll be able to apologize for not having the recall she does as you present appreciation for her pleasure.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
