DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be out for a stroll with my canine when, out of nowhere, my neighbor’s canine got here charging towards us.
He had slipped out of his collar and was clearly not beneath management. He lunged at me and my canine, growling and snapping. I needed to defend my canine and myself, and for a second I genuinely thought we had been going to get severely damage.
What shocked me nearly as a lot because the assault itself was my neighbor’s response. He simply stood there, frozen, doing completely nothing to intervene. He didn’t name the canine again, didn’t run over, didn’t even communicate.
Ultimately, the canine calmed down and ran again to him, however I used to be left offended and confused.
I had just a few scratches, however fortunately nothing main, and my canine wasn’t severely injured both; it might have been a lot worse.
Since then, I haven’t spoken to my neighbor concerning the incident as a result of I’m actually unsure what to say. I don’t need to escalate issues, however I additionally really feel like I deserve some type of acknowledgment or apology.
Ought to I confront my neighbor?
— Dangerous Canine
DEAR BAD DOG: You need to communicate to your neighbor.
State how frightened you had been when his canine charged at you and your canine. Inform him you’re shocked and disenchanted that he didn’t do something within the second or attain out to be sure to had been OK or to apologize for the incident.
Acknowledge that it appeared the canine had by some means gotten freed from his collar, so you understand the neighbor wasn’t deliberately negligent, however you continue to really feel unsettled along with his lack of closure. Ensure that he has a plan for if this occurs once more.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 4-year-old nephew has skilled quite a lot of loss of life in his younger life.
Not too long ago he misplaced his paternal grandmother, and his maternal grandmother is close to her finish. An in depth neighbor good friend, a younger girl, misplaced her battle to breast most cancers as properly.
My nephew is asking a number of questions, which is smart, nevertheless it’s arduous to know what to inform him. His dad and mom are doing a superb job once they speak to him, however lately he requested me if I used to be going to die. My knee-jerk response was to say no, however I felt like I used to be insulting him by saying that.
He’s a child, however he’s genuinely curious. What’s the proper factor to say on this state of affairs?
— Loss of life Discuss
DEAR DEATH TALK: Everybody dies. That’s a reality, so saying in any other case is dishonest and may result in confusion.
When your nephew brings up this subject once more, ask him what he’s enthusiastic about. It’s possible that his ideas have led him to a particular state of affairs, battle or exercise. React to that fairly than getting defensive.
Inform him that everyone dies in some unspecified time in the future; most individuals reside to be previous, however some, like his neighbor, go sooner. Inform him loss of life is nothing to be afraid of — it’s a stage within the life cycle.
A e book that may assist your nephew is “My Grief Comfort Book: Creative Activities To Help Kids Cope With Loss and Keep Memories Alive” by Brie Overton.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
