My fiance wants me to stay home

Dear Amy: I was in a 13-year marriage that was quite lonely and without intimacy, but I filled those lonely moments with travel and adventure.

I finally pulled the plug after over a decade of trying to fix our broken relationship.

Enter “New Guy.”

We met last year and hit it off like dynamite. He’s smart, stable, attentive, and loves me.

He was attracted to me because of my free spirit, confidence, drive and intelligence.

I am self-employed, financially very stable, and chose my profession so I could incorporate travel into my life.

He is inspired by my travels and wants the same for himself – but he is an engineer and gets only two weeks off every year.

He proposed marriage and I accepted, but now I’m seeing red flags.

I have some opportunities for business travel that appear “fun” and maybe even “opulent,” but he doesn’t want me doing the “fun” things if he can’t go with me.

He makes me feel terrible if I want to go without him and takes it personally that he is “left out.”

He has traveled to many wonderful places for his job, but he sees my travel as if I’m vacationing without him.

I can’t compromise something that is so much a part of me and be limited to only two weeks every year in a fashion that fits his schedule.

He has a teenager at home and parents he wants to see who live out of state, so it’s already a very dialed-down version of how I live.

I don’t want to blow the best relationship of my life, but I will end up very resentful if I have to give up a big part of who I am for someone else. I never want to do that again.

How do I navigate this?

– Wanderlusting Woman

Dear Wanderlusting: Years ago, just after I got (re)married, my new husband told me that he wanted to run for local office. This would involve many nights campaigning and attending meetings, leaving me quite literally holding the bag in our household.

I was completely opposed to his doing this, and told him so.

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𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝘀, 𝗖𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 & 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘆:
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗠𝗖𝗔,
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝗮𝘁

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