DEAR HARRIETTE: My 20-year-old daughter not too long ago bought her cosmetology license and has began working at a salon.
She’s enthusiastic about her new job and the independence it brings, however now she’s telling me she desires to maneuver out and get her personal house. She says she’s prepared for the following step and desires her personal house to really feel extra “grown-up.”
The issue is, I’m not satisfied she’s absolutely ready for all the pieces that comes with dwelling on her personal.
Whereas she’s making respectable cash, she hasn’t been at her job lengthy, and he or she hasn’t saved up a lot but. I fear she’s underestimating the bills concerned and will wrestle to maintain up with payments, lease and different sudden prices.
Plus, I’m involved that, with the best way the job market is, she may want extra of a monetary cushion if something have been to go mistaken.
I do know a part of me simply isn’t able to let go, however I’m genuinely involved that she’s shifting too rapidly. I wish to assist her goals, however I don’t need her to leap into one thing she won’t be prepared for.
How can I assist her see the larger image with out discouraging her or coming throughout as overly protecting?
— Subsequent Steps
DEAR NEXT STEPS: Don’t discourage your daughter. If she desires to exit on her personal, assist her.
Encourage her to make a funds for the 12 months and map out her bills and potential earnings. Let her know what you might be keen and in a position to contribute if she wants assist. Be clear and particular so she doesn’t try and depend on you greater than is reasonable.
Let her know she will be able to come residence if issues don’t work out — no questions requested.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been occupied with leaving my husband, however I don’t assume I can afford to be alone.
Our lives and bills are fully entangled — despite the fact that we’ve got been estranged for a very long time.
My girlfriend steered I simply keep and construct a separate life, however I really feel uncomfortable about that.
I’m afraid of what to do subsequent. At any time when I attempt to speak to him about our issues, he yells at me and says it’s all my fault. He refuses to get remedy, too.
What do I do subsequent when I’m scared to do something?
— Paralyzed
DEAR PARALYZED: Get your self a therapist — somebody with whom you possibly can speak by means of your points to get an expert, unbiased opinion and steerage.
You might also wish to speak to a monetary adviser to determine a approach ahead with the monetary assets that you just do have.
Lastly, seek the advice of with an lawyer who can inform you of the legal guidelines of your state concerning division of assets upon divorce.
All of this info will show you how to to find out subsequent steps. Do know that even when there are not any monetary issues, extricating your self from a wedding may be tough. Give your self time to determine it out.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
