DEAR HARRIETTE: I referred to as my cousin “Joe” to want him a contented birthday. He and I have been born in the identical 12 months and grew up like siblings.
Now that we dwell in several states, we don’t speak as typically, however once we do, we wish to catch up. So after I referred to as on his birthday, I used to be excited to listen to what’s new with him.
I occurred to ask how his spouse was doing, and after telling me she’s doing effectively, he requested me why I’ve been speaking to her about leaving him. I used to be so confused. I barely speak to his spouse — not for any explicit cause, simply because we don’t actually know one another that effectively.
I defined to Joe that I don’t name her, and he insisted that “he knows” I do and that she’s been telling him what I say.
I instructed him she’s most likely making an attempt to upset him, however he doesn’t imagine me.
What sort of wedge is she making an attempt to drive between Joe and me?
— Mendacity Spouse
DEAR LYING WIFE: Reiterate that you haven’t spoken to your cousin’s spouse in any respect. If you wish to assist him resolve this, ask him to ask you over to his home when his spouse might be there. The three of you may speak about it overtly.
The larger problem, although, is their relationship. He wants to handle that. What’s going on and why is his spouse introducing the thought of a separation by a 3rd social gathering — you?
Joe wants to handle his life head-on, not be distracted by what his spouse mentioned you mentioned. Inform him that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve the chance to take a job the place my pal might be my boss.
I’ve by no means labored in an setting with somebody I used to be buddies with previous to working with them, and I don’t typically make a behavior of changing into shut buddies with co-workers. I’m a bit cautious.
This pal of mine is somebody I’ve recognized since center college. Our dynamic now just isn’t constant, however once we do see one another — often two or thrice a 12 months — it’s like we haven’t missed a beat.
I’m wondering if the truth that we don’t spend a lot time collectively might be a superb factor if we find yourself working collectively. She has a reliable and easygoing manner about her.
I simply surprise what I don’t learn about my pal but that would impression our relationship if she turns into my supervisor? Am I pondering too far forward?
— Pal in Cost
DEAR FRIEND IN CHARGE: Speak to your pal about her expectations and her work model. Ask her to let you know how she manages the workforce and what she desires from you.
Inform her you propose to do an amazing job, and also you need to have a transparent understanding of what that may appear like for her. Don’t plant any seeds of negativity or doubt. Simply hear and study.
For those who do find yourself being her subordinate, do your finest to recollect your roles and resist asking for favors or totally different remedy than she affords others.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
