DEAR HARRIETTE: Considered one of my buddies is newly engaged! I used to be over the moon for her once I heard that her companion had proposed.
The following time I noticed her, I congratulated her and showered her with pleasure. She appeared coy and a bit reserved about it — it was nearly as if she was stunned that I knew, however I didn’t suppose a lot of it on the time.
It’s been a couple of months since her engagement, and I’ve observed some modifications along with her.
We work collectively, and he or she has been arriving late fairly steadily; all of her excuses about her lateness contain her companion. I don’t know the way he’s making her late or why she thinks that’s a sound motive, however I’m starting to fret.
She additionally appears reluctant about planning her wedding ceremony. I supplied to assist create one thing good and low-budget, however she requested me to cease planning. She’s been distant since then.
I texted her as soon as round 10 p.m. simply checking in and saying we must always catch up quickly, and her fiance texted me again from her cellphone saying it’s too late for us to be texting. Isn’t that absurd? Is my buddy in hassle?
— Purple Flags
DEAR RED FLAGS: See if you will get her to go to lunch with you or take a stroll outdoors throughout a break. Inform her immediately that you’re frightened about her. Ask her if something is bothering her or if she wants assist.
Urge her to speak to somebody about no matter is occurring — if not you, discover another person. Hand her a slip of paper with the Nationwide Home Violence Hotline on it: 1-800-799-7233.
Proceed to concentrate to what’s occurring, and make sure you be there for her when she wants you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been relationship this man for a short while now, and we’ve actually hit it off.
On our final date, we have been out late, and he bought a cellphone name close to midnight. He appeared tense after the decision, and with out me asking, he informed me it was his brother calling for some foolish recommendation.
On the finish of the night time, we went again to his place for the primary time. I went to make use of the lavatory, and I heard him take one other cellphone name. I attempted to take my time earlier than popping out in order to not interrupt what seemed like an intense dialog, however once I got here out, he hung up on whoever he was talking with. I requested if all the pieces was OK, and he stated sure, so I stayed.
We have been watching a film when he started receiving textual content messages on his display screen from a lady’s identify. She was texting issues like, “Call me back” and “Where are you?” He didn’t acknowledge them, and I felt uncomfortable, so I informed him I used to be going to go house.
He has not reached out to me since then. Ought to I ask him what that was all about?
— Suspicious Date
DEAR SUSPICIOUS DATE: This man clearly has unresolved points with another person that he’s not prepared to debate. Minimize your losses and transfer on. If he does contact you once more, discover out if he has extricated himself from that relationship earlier than you determine to leap again in.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
