DEAR MISS MANNERS: I reside in a spot the place many cultures and nationalities abound.
Once I was at a restaurant with pals the opposite day, we have been served by a comely waitress. My good friend commented on the great thing about the “Asian waitress,” however I assumed she was Latina.
Is there a tactful and correct technique to ask? Or are we higher off not asking such a query in any respect? None of us needs to offend anybody.
GENTLE READER: Then please simply order your meals. Miss Manners reminds you that the waitress is just not a menu merchandise of whom you might inquire the substances. She has work to do and will not wish to clarify her background to you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I inherited a Twenties-era diamond ring and earrings.
I keep in mind my grandmother saying that except an engagement ring, it’s inappropriate to put on the sort of flashy jewellery in the course of the day.
I’m going to a reunion luncheon for my all-girls faculty, to be held at a stunning “Old South”-style tearoom. Frankly, I’d like to put on these items to the occasion. The ring may move for an engagement ring, however the sizable solitaire earrings are positively simply “bling.”
Does this rule nonetheless maintain? Would sticking to pearls be extra acceptable?
GENTLE READER: Maintain with whom?
Even when Miss Manners had inherited the crown jewels, she, like your grandmother, would by no means put on them in the course of the day. However she has seen that individuals who even have inherited crown jewels are amongst those that are both ignorant or contemptuous of the rule.
Nonetheless, the rule was well-known and noticed in what you’re calling the Previous South. As your classmates have chosen this venue, maybe they might take into account your carrying the earrings to be a vulgar case of displaying off. Or not.
You do know that your grandmother wouldn’t approve. Gratitude and respect ought to cease you from going in opposition to her sense of decorum — particularly if she is the relative from whom you inherited the jewellery.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I despatched out wedding ceremony invites. Our wedding ceremony remains to be 12 weeks away, however will-be attendees have already begun sending items to our home.
What’s the correct etiquette for the timing of thank-you notes? Ought to we wait till the marriage takes place, or ought to we begin sending thank-you notes now to acknowledge receipt of those items?
GENTLE READER: NOW!
Sorry; Miss Manners didn’t imply to shout at you. However she is aware of what occurs when brides postpone thanking individuals who give them presents.
Proper now, you’re busy preparing for the marriage. Then, you may be in your wedding ceremony journey. After that, you may be catching up at work after having been away. At that time, you received’t be capable to bear to have a look at the checklist of who gave what — which will likely be in your desk, providing you with soiled appears.
Then you’ll resolve that it’s too late.
The time to thank somebody for providing you with a gift is whenever you obtain that current.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, [email protected]; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
