DEAR HARRIETTE: Do I’ve to tip for all the things today?
I’m beginning to really feel overwhelmed by how usually I’m anticipated to depart a tip — at espresso retailers, takeout counters and self-checkout kiosks. It looks like irrespective of the place I’m going, there’s a display screen prompting me to depart 20% or extra, even when there hasn’t been any actual service concerned.
I’m all for supporting staff, and I perceive that many service workers depend on ideas as a principal supply of their revenue, but it surely’s beginning to really feel extreme.
I used to affiliate tipping with sit-down eating places or companies the place somebody actually went out of their means to assist me. Now it looks like an ethical dilemma each time I purchase a muffin or get a cup of tea. I don’t wish to appear stingy or disrespectful, however I’m additionally on a finances and these little ideas are including up quick.
Is it fallacious to really feel this manner? How do I navigate tipping tradition with out going broke or feeling responsible each time I hit the “no tip” button?
— The Artwork of Tipping
DEAR THE ART OF TIPPING: The extent to which ideas are requested has modified. You might be proper that the majority checkouts request ideas. That doesn’t imply it’s important to give it.
You’ll be able to nonetheless go by the knowledge that you simply tip for attentive service. Go searching — in some small espresso retailers, you’ll discover staff actually extending themselves as they care for patrons — an ideal time to tip. Don’t tip at self-checkout stations, fast-food counters or drive-through home windows. Use your judgment and depart the guilt behind.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just lately broke my foot, and consequently, I’m now in a strolling boot and on crutches for the following two to a few months.
It’s been a significant adjustment; all the things from getting dressed to operating errands has develop into a problem.
I dwell alone in a significant metropolis the place I rely closely on public transportation, which has made issues much more difficult. Navigating buses and trains with crutches is exhausting, and typically it feels almost inconceivable to get to a physician’s appointment or decide up groceries.
What’s been most stunning and disappointing, although, is the shortage of assist from my closest buddies. Whereas some have checked in by way of textual content, none have actually provided to assist in a sensible means, like bringing meals, giving me a journey or coming over to maintain me firm.
I do know everyone seems to be busy with their very own lives, however I suppose I anticipated a bit extra compassion or initiative, particularly from folks I’ve been there for up to now.
I don’t wish to come throughout as needy or burdensome, however on the similar time, I’m feeling overwhelmed and a bit damage. Is it fallacious to really feel let down?
— Damaged
DEAR BROKEN: Positive, you may really feel let down, however that feeling isn’t going that will help you any. As a substitute, be proactive.
Your pals clearly don’t perceive what your wants are, so you will need to inform them. Make a listing of how they can assist you, and ask if any of them are keen to take action. A few of your pals will step up.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
