DEAR ABBY: I’m a giver by nature. That is how I present my love.
I prefer to prepare dinner, knit, sew and purchase items for the individuals who matter most to me.
I’ve lately seen that after I purchase items for my fiance, he appears to be like them as much as see how a lot I paid for them. He isn’t doing this to say I spent too little however slightly to say I spend “way too much” on him.
I think about what he’s been doing to be impolite, and I informed him so. I additionally informed him it’s none of his enterprise how a lot I spent on him. Am I fallacious?
— GIVING OF MYSELF IN ILLINOIS
DEAR GIVING: I feel you overreacted by turning into defensive.
Moderately than scold your fiance as a result of he chided you for spending the quantity you may have on his items, it may have been dealt with extra delicately. All you wanted to say was, “To me you are priceless. I get great pleasure when I find something I think you can use and will enjoy. Please stop looking a gift horse in the mouth.”
P.S. Be sure to are each on the identical web page concerning funds earlier than you’re married.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be as soon as a stay-at-home spouse. I did all of the cooking, housekeeping, and so on.
On account of a downturn within the business the place my husband was a extremely paid govt, he switched to a health-care profession utilizing his bachelor’s diploma. I returned to work in a well-paying however demanding job.
So now I prepare dinner, we eat. He sits down to look at TV, and I clear whereas watching TV. After I ask for assist, he accuses me of being a nag.
I’m rising an increasing number of depressed over this. Recommendation, please.
— FEELING DOWN IN THE SOUTH
DEAR FEELING DOWN: You married an old school man. He labored whilst you “kept the home fires burning.” When actuality hit and also you wanted to rejoin the workforce, he forgot the precept of “each according to his ability, each according to his need.”
Your darling wants a chilly dose of actuality. Occasions have modified, and he’s not doing his fair proportion. Remind him so you possibly can work out a extra equitable settlement.
P.S. You could be extra drained from doing double obligation than depressed. Give it some thought.
DEAR ABBY: My 19-year-old son, who’s on the spectrum however high-functioning, has left residence.
He’s legally an grownup however wouldn’t enable me to show him regular survival expertise, resembling balancing a checkbook, paying with a debit card, and so on. He is aware of little or no concerning the world; he learns from his on-line buddies.
It has been 4 months, and he has now modified his telephone quantity and received’t name, electronic mail or textual content. He moved throughout the nation to stay with a web based pal. I’m very involved about him.
What ought to I do? I don’t electronic mail him typically, however after I do, I simply inform him I really like him, and I by no means say something unfavorable.
— LOST IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOST: 4 months, you say? Assuming you may have his present tackle, maybe it’s time for you — and his different mother or father, if she or he is within the image — to pay the younger man a go to to see how he’s doing.
As a result of he received’t reply to telephone calls, emails or texts, I don’t suppose you may have a alternative apart from that.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
