DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m making an attempt to drink extra water, so I set an alarm on my cellphone to remind me hourly.
Typically I’m in public when the alarm (birds or crickets chirping) goes off. I flip it off instantly, however my husband says the noise is impolite.
But when I might bear in mind to close off the alarm when leaving the home, I wouldn’t want an alarm to drink water within the first place.
Am I being rude?
GENTLE READER: It relies upon the place the alarm goes off. If it goes off within the automobile, it would annoy your husband, however isn’t, strictly talking, impolite. If it goes off on the subway, nobody might discover it over the cacophony of different alarms going off — until in fact, it’s the designated quiet automobile.
If on the library, the symphony or comparable areas, Miss Manners is assured that the opposite patrons will likely be useful in letting you realize that they assume you’re being impolite.
Diving to silence it when it does go off is, in fact, essential, however it might be a lot better to get within the behavior of checking earlier than getting into areas the place some stage of decorum is anticipated.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A good friend despatched me an invite to her youngster’s seventh party; nevertheless, it got here with a handwritten message that said, “It’s probably best to come after 4 when the party is over and all the children leave.”
I do not need kids; I’ve a number of pals who do, and I usually get invited to their youngsters’ birthday events. I’m glad to attend if I’m in a position, however I don’t count on an invite each time. I understand a number of the events are small, household solely varieties, or simply for the children of their youngster’s class, and so forth.
However I assumed this was unusual. It appeared like a strategy to invite me to a celebration, whereas sending a seemingly blended message that I’m probably not invited in spite of everything. Why would I need to present up when my pals will most likely be cleansing and everybody else will likely be departing?
I’m unsure if they only assumed I wouldn’t need to come to the occasion as a result of it is going to be loads of kids, however usually individuals would let me resolve that when inviting me.
What do I make of it? Ought to I observe up with, “Am I going to be the only one showing up at that time?” It feels awkward, so I’m pondering of politely declining, however it has really left me baffled.
GENTLE READER: You will have fallen sufferer to the evolving etiquette of the youngsters’s party, which modifications so quick that even the mother and father of younger kids have bother maintaining.
Miss Manners believes that reasonably than insulting you, the seemingly intent was to give you the selection of attending the total occasion or — on the affordable assumption {that a} roomful of rambunctious 7-year-olds isn’t at all times interesting to non-parenting adults — displaying up for the grownup after-party as a substitute.
Sadly, that rationalization was omitted, leaving you to select you didn’t absolutely perceive or to name the host or one other visitor and ask for clarification.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
