DEAR ABBY: A number of years in the past, I turned acquainted with a Catholic priest after he employed me to present him dialog classes. (He was visiting from one other nation; English will not be his first language.)
We hit it off and located we had so much in frequent. After the teachings ended, we stayed in contact. Not lengthy after that, he returned to his residence nation.
Since then, we’ve emailed and texted recurrently, and video-chatted over the vacations. I like my friendship with him, and he appears to really feel the identical method.
To be trustworthy, although, I’ve a little bit of a crush on him. I hoped it might fade, but it surely hasn’t. I really feel considerably responsible about it and marvel if I’m being dishonest by not telling him.
Ought to I say one thing and threat having the friendship (which I actually get pleasure from) finish? Or is it OK to maintain these sorts of secrets and techniques?
— CRUSHING ON THE COAST
DEAR CRUSHING: So long as your “bit of a crush” doesn’t have a unfavourable influence on the remainder of your life, I see no purpose to burden the priest with this secret. Nonetheless, if it causes a disruption within the relationships you might have (i.e., with a husband or boyfriend), then converse up and be ready for the connection to decelerate, if not finish.
DEAR ABBY: I’m just lately divorced after a 37-year marriage. My boyfriend, “Grant,” has been divorced for a very long time.
He’s a beautiful man — trustworthy, clever, wholesome, useful, neat and a fantastic communicator. Our bodily relationship is great, too.
My drawback? Grant has two small canine that sleep in mattress with him. They’ve since they had been puppies. They’re 11 and 13 years previous now.
I’ve a big canine that sleeps in his mattress on the ground and isn’t allowed on any furnishings. He doesn’t shed. The canine all get alongside nice.
I slept in Grant’s mattress as soon as when his canine had been on the kennel and was grossed out by the canine hair on the sheets, comforter, and many others., even after the sheets had been washed. Having canine within the mattress would disrupt my sleep, so if I spend the night time, I sleep in Grant’s visitor room. (He doesn’t assume it’s truthful to disrupt his “kids’” sleeping preparations in spite of everything these years.)
I’d a lot somewhat go to sleep and get up subsequent to him, however this occurs solely on holidays away from residence.
I’m uninterested in sleeping aside however don’t really feel like giving any ultimatums.
Is he proper to not need to disrupt the canine’ sleeping habits to accommodate me a few times per week?
— SLEEPING SOLO IN OREGON
DEAR SLEEPING SOLO: I believe your boyfriend is true. As a result of Grant has habituated his canine to sleeping in his mattress (to not point out that the mattress is filthy), I don’t assume it might be sensible to disrupt them at this stage of their lives.
On the nights you’re at his place, it’d make extra sense for Grant to spend the night time within the visitor room with you till his sleeping buddies cross the rainbow bridge.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
