DEAR ABBY: A number of months in the past, I came upon my grownup baby is transgender. No one is aware of but aside from me, my husband and my different baby.
Till this 12 months, I’ve all the time labored in a really caring, loving and supportive setting.
Just lately, I overheard a brand new male co-worker say in a high-pitched voice, “I’m transgender! I’m transgender!” whereas spinning in circles and waving a shawl round his head. I used to be floored.
I needed to say one thing to him about that being inappropriate and hurtful, however I used to be speechless. I’ve by no means earlier than encountered such a habits.
How do I deal with this if one thing related occurs once more?
My baby is just not prepared for the world to know, so I must be cautious. I’m kicking myself for not talking up on the time.
— REGRETFUL IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR REGRETFUL: It’s unlucky that transgender folks (who make up lower than 1% of the inhabitants) are being scapegoated by ignorant, ill-informed people. Gender identification dysfunction is just not contagious. Trans persons are a hazard to nobody, and so they don’t should be ridiculed.
The following time this occurs (and it could), don’t be shy about telling your co-worker that what he’s doing is inappropriate and hurtful and to not do it in entrance of you once more.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been having a friend-with-benefits relationship with a person I’ll name “Gene.”
We’re each in our 70s. He lives an hour away, and we see one another as soon as a month. Gene is married, however his spouse is disabled, and their relationship has deteriorated.
We used to work collectively, and he was very lonely after I met him.
Gene feels accountable for his spouse and can by no means depart her, which is ok with me. I’m not inquisitive about a full-time boyfriend.
My subject is, if my two grownup youngsters came upon about this, they’d be very judgmental. I do know it might injury my relationship with them. Alternatively, I don’t wish to dwell my life on their phrases.
What do you consider all this?
— HAPPY, BUT WORRIED, IN FLORIDA
DEAR HAPPY: I feel that on the age of 70 you might be mature sufficient to make your individual choices. I additionally suppose that you should be robust sufficient to defend them ought to the necessity come up.
Since you reside in worry of their finally discovering out that you’re pleased with the connection you’ve with Gene, it might be higher so that you can inform them your self.
DEAR ABBY: You’ve printed many letters from ladies residing with deadbeat males. I want you’ll write about the advantages of residing alone and never needing a person in your life to really feel full.
— ALONE AND CONTENT IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR A & C: Each letter I print concerning “deadbeat” males (and their feminine equivalents) is an object lesson in itself. The writers are overworked, annoyed and depressing. I can’t consider a stronger message to ship readers than those in these letters, which communicate for themselves.
No man in any respect is healthier than one who’s a person.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
