DEAR HARRIETTE: My household and I are gearing up for our annual household trip. My oldest little one is in a relationship and has been badgering me about desirous to carry his girlfriend.
I would favor to not carry her alongside on an intimate weeklong journey as a result of I really feel that her clothes could be relatively revealing, and he or she doesn’t appear shy about PDA. I’ve two a lot youthful kids, and I don’t suppose they should be uncovered to that on their summer time getaway.
Apart from, I don’t plan to pay for some type of {couples}’ journey whereas the remainder of us try to catch up and bond.
I shared my stance with my son and defined that it’s OK for some issues to be family-only, and he’s now refusing to hitch us except I prolong an invite to his girlfriend.
My son is already away in school, so his youthful siblings actually cherish the time they spend with him on these holidays. I’m torn right here.
Are my considerations unreasonable?
— Trip Ultimatum
DEAR VACATION ULTIMATUM: Your considerations are legitimate, however you have to take a look at the massive image.
Discuss to your son — and his girlfriend, if attainable. Make it clear that she is welcome if she will costume and behave appropriately for a G-rated viewers. Which means no skimpy clothes and no overt PDA. Inform them that you just get to set the parameters for the journey as it’s your household journey.
If they’re unwilling to conform, she can’t come — even when which means your loved ones misses out on high quality time.
DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of years in the past, my longtime greatest pal and I fell out.
We grew up collectively and are the godmothers of one another’s kids. However like every long-term relationship, we had our faults.
We shared totally different pal teams, and if I’m being trustworthy, there could have been situations the place I felt aggressive. It sounds foolish — and it was — however a part of me envied how she was perceived, particularly as compared with how I’m generally perceived. Oftentimes folks describe me as chilly or robust or see me because the much less compassionate half of a duo.
There got here a time the place my jealousy was tougher to cover. Our pals started feeling pressure, and as a protection, I started mistreating my greatest pal. Although our youngsters stay shut, she and I are usually not.
I lastly discovered the braveness to confess to myself that I used to be jealous and flawed for mistreating my pal merely due to my insecurities. Frankly, I now perceive why folks perceived me the best way they did.
I wish to apologize and I’ve prolonged olive branches, however she doesn’t appear thinking about rekindling our friendship.
Ought to I settle for the implications of my actions, or is there one thing I can do to fix this?
— Lengthy-Misplaced Good friend
DEAR LONG-LOST FRIEND: It’s good that you’ve the readability of thoughts to comprehend your errors because it pertains to your pal.
Whereas she could by no means select to get near you once more, it is best to make it clear to her what you’ve got realized about your conduct. Write her a letter documenting what an awesome pal she had been and the way you took it out on her.
Sincerely categorical your disgrace at behaving in that means. Ask for her forgiveness. That’s all you are able to do.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You may ship questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
