DEAR MISS MANNERS: A younger cousin of mine graduated from highschool this spring and will probably be going to varsity within the fall.
I requested his mom what celebrations they had been planning; she responded that he didn’t appear to be enthusiastic about having a celebration.
I needed to acknowledge his accomplishments, so the subsequent time I noticed him (at one other cousin’s wedding ceremony reception), I introduced him with a commencement card with a small financial reward inside. His dad and mom might not be conscious of this.
Since then, I’ve acquired an invite to a celebration in his honor. I don’t need to present up empty-handed, however my price range limits my generosity. What could be one of the simplest ways to proceed?
GENTLE READER: The current you gave him acknowledged his commencement. What could be the aim of a second one? To reveal to the graduate’s dad and mom that you’re paying for admission to the celebration?
The don’t-show-up-empty-handed mantra now rivals the don’t-use-the-guest-towels one: They’re the uncommon directives that also command obedience in an in any other case lax society. Individuals who don’t reply to invites, who be at liberty to criticize the menu and who by no means reciprocate nonetheless obey these supposed guidelines.
However friends are supposed to make use of the visitor towels, they usually create issues by grabbing the household towels or going with out washing. And whereas it’s charming to convey flowers or candies to hosts, it turns into a nuisance if each arrival palms over an odd bottle of wine or some random object, making the lobby appear to be a rummage store.
Presents are voluntary. You needed to present one to your cousin, and you probably did so; now determine if you wish to give him a second one to impress his dad and mom. As much as you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I personal a beachfront timeshare with two bedrooms, every with a full tub connected.
Once I invite a visitor, ought to I provide them the a lot bigger “owner’s suite” or the very-nice-but-smaller visitor suite?
Do I take my steerage from the names of those areas, or ought to I give my visitor the bigger area?
GENTLE READER: The rationale you might have a visitor room — a relatively lush one, Miss Manners gathers — is to keep away from resenting your visitor for displacing you from your individual room. So please put your visitor within the room for friends.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When nonprofits show lists of their donors, I’ve seen {couples}’ names written two methods. A method places the feminine title first (e.g., Joan and James Smith) and the opposite places the male title first (James and Joan Smith).
I used to be questioning if one is extra correct than the opposite, or if there’s a cause behind both methodology.
I plan to mail some invites to a number of {couples} for a perform, and I need to know which format you’d counsel I exploit.
GENTLE READER: Individuals who have a marked desire for one or the opposite are in all probability influenced by conflicting traditions: particularly, the frequent “Mr. and Mrs.” type and the “ladies first” thought.
Each are in query nowadays, and we have now not settled on an ordinary.
However why want your listing be standardized? You need to use every couple’s preferences, if you realize them. And organizations that listing donors could be well-advised so as to add a line to their donation type, asking {couples} how they need to be recognized.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
