DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter “Allie” (whom I raised as my very own since she was 2) has banned my daughter’s girlfriend, “Taylor,” from coming to her home for the vacations.
She dislikes that Taylor, at 19, is 20 years youthful than my daughter.
Due to this, I made a decision to have fun the vacations at my home as an alternative of hers. As a result of Taylor can be there, Allie determined to not be current.
My husband had an enormous stroke 4 years in the past, and it’s tough for him to spend a lot time away from house. Allie hung up on each of us after we tried to debate the scenario together with her, and we haven’t spoken to her since.
My sister-in-law informed my husband we have to attain out to Allie so we “have no regrets.” We declined as a result of Allie has all the time been a diva who lies and manipulates to get her manner.
How ought to this be dealt with? At this level, I need to say I’m performed as a result of I don’t really feel we needs to be those to apologize.
— WELCOMING IN LOUISIANA
DEAR WELCOMING: Ask your self this, and reply the query actually: If Allie had been hit by a truck tomorrow, would you remorse that you just hadn’t reached out to her?
If the reply isn’t any, stand pat. If the reply is sure, proceed inviting her to vacation occasions and provides her the chance to develop up and be gracious.
The selection is yours; it shouldn’t be your sister-in-law’s, whose enterprise this isn’t.
DEAR ABBY: My husband left me and moved one other girl in with him at our second house.
We had been married for 37 years. He stated we had drifted aside and that he didn’t love me anymore.
For nearly two years, I’ve been engaged on my points. I held out hope that we may work on a reconciliation.
We’re pleasant, however he isn’t fascinated with reconciling. He additionally says he doesn’t need a divorce and prefers to proceed being separated.
As I’ve grown used to being alone, I’ve began pondering extra about divorcing him, though it might have a monetary affect on me.
I did discuss with a counselor up to now, however I really feel caught the place I’m. Ought to I keep separated or divorce?
— IN LIMBO IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR IN LIMBO: Nobody could make that call for you. Nevertheless, I’ve a suggestion that will make it easier to make some vital selections about your future.
Make an appointment with an lawyer who makes a speciality of divorce legislation and focus on what the monetary fallout can be if you happen to divorced your absent husband. The adverse affect may very well be lower than you worry.
Nevertheless, if it’s not, then return to your therapist, proceed working in your points and ask for assist in determining what can be the more healthy selection for you.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
