DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and I celebrated the birthday of a detailed good friend with a number of others.
The dinner was at a restaurant, starting at 5 p.m. (said time). We had problem discovering parking and arrived quarter-hour late, however not as a result of we have been careless of the time.
Our associates had a desk simply to the left of the entrance door. It was apparent that the eight of them had arrived early, for there have been empty glasses and picked-over appetizers. I don’t see how they may have ordered and completed drinks and appetizers inside quarter-hour or so, except they’d all gathered previous to the said time.
Nobody had talked about they have been going to do that or reached out to search out why we have been late.
Final to reach, we quickly had our personal cocktails. Nonetheless, it bothers me that the remainder of the occasion gathered earlier than us. Most of those associates see one another not less than twice every week, after we don’t.
In prior birthday occasions, maybe a pair arrived early and had a cocktail, however by no means the remainder of the occasion collectively, so this hadn’t bothered me earlier than. This time it did.
Am I being oversensitive? I feel if the occasion begins at a said time, the company arrive round that point and wait a couple of minutes earlier than ordering something.
This example has occurred earlier than, however to not this diploma. I really feel my associates have moved on. Ought to I?
GENTLE READER: Your case can be a complete lot stronger had you not been quarter-hour late.
Because it stands, your folks might say they weren’t certain when and even if you happen to have been coming, so went forward with ordering drinks. Little question — they may add — the waitstaff was pressuring them to take action.
To get them to confess they have been there longer than that might be tantamount to accusing them of fooling you — not a superb look or a nice approach to have a good time a birthday, Miss Manners assures you.
Maybe you need to maintain off casting apart a complete group of shut associates till you have got proof of malice.
In case you actually wish to catch them within the act, you had higher get there on time and even early. That features leaving additional time for parking.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I wish to hear your opinion on whether or not saying “Excuse me” might be impolite.
For my part, if I can see that an individual’s exercise will solely take a minute, it’s impolite to say “Excuse me,” and anticipate them to cease what they’re doing to permit me to perform my process. The right factor to do, in my thoughts, is to patiently wait my flip.
What do you suppose?
GENTLE READER: It is dependent upon the exercise.
If somebody is standing in your method within the grocery aisle, attempting to determine between mayonnaise manufacturers, you need to patiently wait your flip.
If that individual is obstructing you whereas texting a partner, having an intense argument about whether or not mayonnaise must be of their weight loss plan in any respect, and may we even be married if you happen to don’t care sufficient to choose up the issues I requested … then the duty at hand just isn’t going to quickly be achieved. In that case, you could say “Excuse me,” with Miss Manners’s blessing.
Observe that tone is necessary, too. A haughty “Well, excuse me!” is all the time impolite.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, [email protected]; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
