DEAR HARRIETTE: My 17-year-old daughter lately acquired right into a automotive accident. Fortunately, she wasn’t significantly harm, however the automotive was totaled.
After speaking to her about what occurred, it turned clear that the accident was resulting from her not paying consideration: She was distracted, and it value her.
Now that the mud has settled, she’s asking my husband and me to purchase her a brand new automotive. She appears to count on that we’ll exchange it like we’re upgrading her telephone, and I’m combating how entitled she sounds.
I perceive that having a automotive is vital for her independence, job and social life, however I additionally really feel strongly that this is a chance to show her some real-world duty. I informed her that we’re keen to assist with the price, however she must contribute financially as nicely, whether or not meaning saving up from her part-time job or doing additional work round the home.
She, after all, is annoyed and thinks we’re being unfair. She says she’s already realized her lesson from the crash, however I’m not so positive.
Am I being too harsh?
— Be taught the Lesson
DEAR LEARN THE LESSON: Your daughter completely ought to have repercussions resulting from her accident. She must step up and assist determine how she will have a automotive once more.
Sure, she ought to have to assist pay for it. One option to method this may be to supply to match greenback for greenback no matter cash she is keen and capable of put towards the car.
Certain, it’s irritating, however so was the crash that totaled the automotive, raised your insurance coverage invoice and required the acquisition of a brand new automotive. She might imagine she has realized her lesson, however she has an extended option to go.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my roommate about six months in the past, and at first, every thing was nice. We acquired alongside nicely, break up chores evenly and revered one another’s house. Not too long ago, issues have taken a severe flip for the more severe.
We acquired into an enormous argument a number of weeks in the past. I received’t go into all the main points, however it acquired fairly heated and private. Ever since then, issues have been unbearably tense within the condo. We barely converse, and after we do, it’s chilly or passive-aggressive. I don’t really feel snug in my own residence anymore, and I discover myself avoiding being there as a lot as potential.
The issue is, we’re nonetheless in the midst of our lease, and breaking it might be costly. Neither of us can afford to pay the total lease on our personal, and I don’t suppose she’s fascinated with transferring out both.
I really feel caught. I wish to transfer out and get some peace of thoughts, however I don’t know the way to try this with out making issues worse financially or legally.
Do you’ve gotten any recommendation on tips on how to deal with this? Is there a option to get out of the lease early or discover a compromise that received’t destroy my checking account or my sanity?
— Caught
DEAR STUCK: Begin by asking your roommate for a gathering. Handle the elephant within the room: particularly, that ever since your argument, issues have been tense.
Ask her if she will conform to a truce because you each have to stay there. Agree on who does what, and suggest that you simply dial again the hostility. Apologize for something hurtful you mentioned or did, and ask for a reset.
Verify together with your landlord to see what it might value to interrupt the lease or discover a substitute tenant for you. Apart from that, if it’s a one-year lease, the excellent news is that six months will fly by.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
