DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a pal who, when she will get a haircut and I don’t acknowledge it, brings that to my consideration.
It’s by no means enticing, and I do know she’s not going to maintain up with it. I don’t know the well mannered approach of claiming, hey, you had a haircut, with out saying it seems to be good.
By the way in which, she by no means compliments me on something.
GENTLE READER: The deep ethical iniquity of elevating a pal’s spirits by telling her the haircut was a hit eludes Miss Manners, however she’s going to take your phrase for it.
Might you at the very least smile and say, “You look terrific; did you get a new haircut?” This can, in fact, be for naught in case your pal is silly sufficient to then ask, “Do you like it?” and you’re feeling compelled to reply, “I’m no judge of such things.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m no extra a fan of name ready than Miss Manners is, however I do wish to defend its restricted utility.
I used to be co-owner and supervisor of a small enterprise for a number of years, and I steadily needed to act as receptionist by answering our workplace cellphone.
If I’m on the cellphone and name ready sounds, I ask Get together A to attend 15 seconds whereas I verify my different line. I ask them to name again if we’re disconnected, and I repeat my assure that I’ll get again to them in 15 seconds.
I change to Get together B on the second line by stating my title and asking for theirs. Then I say instantly that I’ve to return to my different line, however I’ll positively name them again in 5 or 10 or quarter-hour (whichever appears reasonable for ending Get together A’s name).
Certainly not will I enable Get together B to elucidate the explanation for his or her name; if they struggle, I interrupt and repeat that I would like to hold up and I’ll name them again. In the event that they nonetheless hold speaking, I inform them for the second time that I’ve to hold up. Then I hold up, with out ready for his or her consent or acknowledgement.
If the entire course of is dealt with effectively, I’m again to Get together A throughout the 15 seconds that I promised. However some individuals inevitably persist in telling me their story, so I’ve to remain agency and lower them off.
Am I being impolite by hanging up, or is my system sufficiently well mannered for the trendy world?
GENTLE READER: Sufficiently Well mannered for the Fashionable World appears like an ordinary for individuals who have given up caring — one step behind Do No matter Comes Naturally, although maybe higher than the perpetually dreary No matter Makes You Pleased.
What’s attention-grabbing about your scenario is that enterprise etiquette might certainly have completely different guidelines than those who apply within the private world. Hospitals don’t take individuals on a strictly first-come, first-served foundation for a great cause, and this leads her to surprise what service your organization supplied.
No matter that’s, the extra urgent the explanation so that you can choose up shortly for the following caller — say, for instance, you had been staffing a suicide-prevention hotline — the extra cause you’ll have to not hold up on the present one. And even in case you can not stick with the present individual, what justification is there for hanging up quite than placing them again on maintain?
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
