DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an occasion with a male pal, “Tom,” and met up with a feminine pal, “Meg,” and all of us frolicked collectively.
The subsequent day, I discovered that Tom had been calling Meg and mainly attempting to seduce her. His method was a bit kinky, although, and she or he was turned off by it. He requested her to ship him footage of various physique elements — not genitalia — and she or he discovered all of it creepy.
Now he gained’t cease soliciting her for images. Meg has forwarded me his messages so I can see them; they’re completely different, however not overly suggestive or inappropriate.
She has requested me to talk to him and ask him to again off. I don’t wish to become involved. Nothing appears harmful about his communication. Meg simply wants to inform him she’s not .
Do you assume I must do extra?
— Peripheral
DEAR PERIPHERAL: Encourage Meg to deal with her enterprise. This isn’t highschool. Everyone seems to be an grownup.
She must act like one and inform Tom that she appreciates his curiosity in her, however she doesn’t reciprocate his emotions. She must ask him to cease calling and texting her. If he doesn’t get the trace, she will block his quantity.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter simply graduated from school in Could, and my husband and I couldn’t be prouder of her.
She has a job lined up in New York Metropolis and will probably be transferring there in mid-August. The lease at her school house ends in July, and we have been actually hoping she would come dwelling earlier than beginning this subsequent chapter. We thought it could be a pleasant approach for her to calm down, regroup and spend some high quality time with household earlier than she’s off constructing her new life.
After we advised it, she advised us she doesn’t wish to come dwelling. She stated she needs to stick with some college mates till her lease is up.
Truthfully, this response actually damage. We’ve supported her each step of the best way, and we have been wanting ahead to having her again underneath our roof, even when only for a short while. I can’t assist however really feel like she’s attempting to distance herself from us now that she’s an grownup.
Is it improper to need this time together with her? How do I take care of the unhappiness and disappointment I’m feeling with out making her really feel responsible?
— Lacking Our Daughter
DEAR MISSING OUR DAUGHTER: Accepting that your daughter is unbiased and strolling into the subsequent stage of her life has acquired to be troublesome. It’s comprehensible that you just lengthy to spend a little bit of time together with her earlier than she strikes additional away. It additionally is sensible that she needs to be with mates she has made in school whom she could by no means see once more.
Inform your daughter that you just have been hoping she would come dwelling for a short while earlier than heading to New York Metropolis for her new job. Ask her if she would think about carving out a quick time period — even only a lengthy weekend — to come back dwelling to be with you whereas additionally having the ability to cling a bit together with her mates. Don’t guilt her. Simply ask her.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
