DEAR HARRIETTE: The opposite day, I used to be feeling spontaneous and determined to go on a date with somebody I met just lately. It felt like an enormous transfer for me as a result of I used to be stepping out of my consolation zone.
He was a little bit completely different from the kind of individual I often go for, and I used to be pleased with myself for being open-minded and giving it a shot.
At first, issues gave the impression to be going OK, however towards the tip of the night time, he made an unprovoked, mean-spirited remark that fully caught me off guard. We ended up moving into an argument, and the date ended on a extremely bitter observe.
What he mentioned was so unnecessarily hurtful that it’s been sitting with me for days, and now I can’t cease replaying the second in my head.
I do know it was only one dangerous date, nevertheless it actually shook my confidence and made me surprise if relationship is even value it.
How do you progress previous one thing like this with out letting it harden you or make you need to surrender on relationship altogether?
— Dangerous Date
DEAR BAD DATE: Sadly, dangerous dates happen. Please don’t shut the door on the chance that you simply may meet somebody nice at one other time.
The excellent news is that you simply found in your first date with this person who his persona doesn’t measure as much as your expectations. Transfer on. Perhaps the subsequent individual would be the one for you!
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a girl in my early 20s, simply beginning out in my profession and making an attempt to get my footing financially.
My older sister, who’s in her late 20s, just lately accepted a brand new job in Missouri and is planning to maneuver quickly, however she doesn’t have the cash to make it occur. Now my mother and father and sister are pressuring me to cowl her shifting prices, although I reside in Los Angeles (the place the whole lot is pricey) and don’t have an enormous revenue myself.
They’re framing it like I ought to assist as a result of I’m “good with money” and reside extra independently than my sister. It feels unfair to be handled just like the household financial institution simply because I’m accountable.
I like my sister and wish her to succeed, however I additionally really feel resentful that I’m being put on this place, particularly since she’s older than me and has had extra time to get on her ft.
How do I take care of this with out damaging my relationship with my household or abandoning my very own monetary boundaries?
— Household Financial institution
DEAR FAMILY BANK: Recommend to your sister that she ask her new employer to cowl her bills — or at the very least some portion of them. She will inform them that she actually desires to work for them however can’t afford the transfer with out some monetary assist to get there.
Subsequent, both inform her you can not pay her bills or conform to pay a portion which you could afford. Don’t really feel compelled to pay for her transfer. In case your mother and father really feel so strongly about serving to your sister, they need to chip in.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
