DEAR ABBY: I’ve a full-time job and am in fairly good well being. I’ve one son, “Brian,” who’s married and has three youngsters.
I used to be a single mother who raised my son by myself. I believed I used to be a fairly good mom. My downside is that he’s typically impolite to me.
His spouse is tremendous delicate to any remark I make and finds fault with virtually something I do. They spend loads of time along with her household and exclude me.
If I make a remark about Brian’s spouse, he will get mad and calls me hateful or impolite. I’ve been good to each of them, serving to in any approach I can, but they don’t take that into consideration. Brian and I get into arguments over this.
Typically I’ve gone overboard and informed him he wants to determine what his downside is with me. He by no means tells me why he behaves like this. They don’t go to me or deliver the kids over. They are saying they’re busy, however they all the time discover time to go to her household, their cousins, and many others.
Should I hand over on having any type of relationship with them? I like my son and want to be part of his life, however I don’t assume I ought to settle for him being vital of me on a regular basis it doesn’t matter what I do.
If I attempt to discuss objectively together with his spouse, she says I’m making an attempt to start out one thing. Please assist.
— HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I’ll strive. Assume management of your life and give up in search of crumbs out of your son and his spouse! Doing in any other case has introduced you solely ache and disappointment.
Acknowledge that nonetheless you raised your son, you probably did the very best you may below troublesome circumstances.
Your daughter-in-law appears to have taken management of your son, and he has allowed it. Sadly, it’s commonplace. If you see or discuss to them, alternate nothing however pleasantries.
Focus your energies in your friendships and different features of your life. This may occasionally prevent from further grief and be extra rewarding than persevering with to hit your head in opposition to a brick wall.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 14-year-old lady. There are some imply ladies at college. After I discuss to them, they are saying imply issues. I don’t have a superb comeback, so I simply stand there doing nothing.
I want some good ideas. I maintain telling adults, however the ladies maintain doing it. How can I make them cease for good, and do you have got some comebacks I can use?
— SPEECHLESS IN IDAHO
DEAR SPEECHLESS: There is no such thing as a approach to pressure a bully to cease. This ugly conduct is who these ladies are.
I don’t suggest making an attempt to beat them at their very own merciless sport by competing on their stage, as a result of when you do, they may win. As an alternative of approaching them and giving them the chance to say imply issues to you, take into account making an attempt to make pals with different ladies — ladies who would possibly wish to be pals with you too.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
