DEAR MISS MANNERS: After I inform somebody I’m an engineer, they usually ask what my diploma is.
My husband, additionally an engineer, by no means will get this query. I’m 68 years previous and I’ve gotten it over 100 instances in my life, together with final week.
I’m all the time stunned and insulted, however I simply say what my diploma is and transfer on. Generally there are even follow-up questions, corresponding to which faculty I attended — prefer it’s not doable that I may have a four-year diploma in engineering.
I would really like a solution that signifies that it is a sexist and insulting query, with out being too apparent or confrontational.
GENTLE READER: “Unfortunately, it’s not to operate a choo-choo train, as I suppose you were hoping. Just a regular engineering degree, like my husband’s.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve developmental prosopagnosia, or face-blindness, and can’t acknowledge any human faces.
I work remotely in a career that doesn’t require me to work together immediately with others. My husband watches TV and films with me in case I confuse the characters, and goes to events with me to assist me know who I’m speaking with.
I’ve been very open about my situation and my willingness to reply questions on it, and have made certain to tell all my mates about it.
However I’ve one pal who insists on exhibiting me pictures of individuals. She’s going to maintain her cellphone proper in entrance of my face and scroll by way of dozens of images of her son, his mates, her husband’s household, mates that I’ve by no means met, and so forth.
I’ve tried saying issues like, “Oh, is that Junior?” or “Is that the same girl from the other photo?” After a very grueling session of many, many pictures of her son’s highschool promenade, I even stated, “You know I’m face-blind, right?”
However nothing has stopped this conduct.
Because of the isolating nature of my situation, I’ve a really small variety of mates, and I don’t wish to lose this individual’s friendship. Are you able to consider one thing I can say or do to make her cease, with out offending her?
GENTLE READER: You might be probably not the one one with this query. It appears possible that everybody else this individual has bored mindless would additionally welcome an answer.
Miss Manners is starting to marvel if there’s a medical situation that renders individuals unable to note that others run once they see them coming.
The well mannered method to refuse to have a look at footage is to look away and say, “I’d so much rather you talked to me about it. Did your son tell you what high school proms are like these days?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a pal who continuously solicits presents for quite a lot of events, each for herself and for her 12-year-old son.
Most not too long ago, she tagged me on social media subsequent to a hyperlink to a present registry for her son’s eighth grade commencement. Is that this a factor? It appears she feels he’s entitled to presents and recognition for being promoted to the subsequent grade.
How ought to I method these sorts of requests?
GENTLE READER: After all it’s a factor. Are you not continuously being solicited for cash and items from nearly everybody who has your contact data?
However Miss Manners assures you that that doesn’t make it a correct factor, nor one requiring a response.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
