DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I’ve chosen to not register for presents.
Not solely can we want to do what’s correct, however we already stay collectively in a tiny house and have neither the necessity nor the area for extra housekeeping gadgets.
Nor can we want to crassly solicit cash from our company. And because the wedding ceremony is in my fiance’s small, distant hometown, which isn’t straightforward to journey to, we might genuinely be happy with and grateful for our company’ presence, not to mention any presents (overused as that phrase could also be).
What do we are saying to company who inquire a couple of registry? “We are not registered” feels too blunt, however is it presumptuous so as to add, “Thank you for asking”?
I additionally fear that company will anticipate us to place registry data on our wedding ceremony web site, which we’ve got discovered to be a great tool for sharing particulars about resort blocks and journey. Wouldn’t it be applicable so as to add a be aware on the location that we’re not registered?
I may think about company ready for a registry tab to pop up, just for them to really feel wrong-footed when one by no means does.
GENTLE READER: Cease fidgeting, expensive.
The web site is ok, and saying you aren’t registered in reply to a query just isn’t blunt if delivered with a smile — or with out, if the identical relative is asking for the fifth time.
Now, Miss Manners has a phrase for the relations and different company:
May you please cease harassing the couple a couple of registry? They are saying they’ve sufficient stuff and solely need the pleasure of your organization, which should be straightforward sufficient to know.
Should you really feel compelled to ship one thing anyway, then sure, you’ll have to spend a couple of minutes occupied with what they could like. If that’s an excessive amount of bother, may you no less than hold these emotions to yourselves?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be coping with somebody who was complaining a couple of political scenario, which he mentioned made him really feel very unhappy and scared.
I replied, sincerely, that I used to be sorry he felt so unhealthy concerning the scenario and I hoped he felt higher quickly.
Then he complained about “people who say they’re sorry but are really insincere.”
Was there any strategy to specific my sympathy for the way unhealthy he felt with out agreeing together with his view of the political scenario?
GENTLE READER: There may be, and also you already did it. The easiest way to keep away from a struggle with somebody who seems to be in search of one is to not fear your self about subtext.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When attending household occasions, what’s the well mannered strategy to decline posing for images that find yourself being posted on social media websites with out my permission?
Folks used to place images of their albums at residence, however now they’re posted indiscriminately, and it actually bothers me.
If I need my photograph on social media, I’ll put up it. Not another person.
GENTLE READER: Provide to be the photographer.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
