DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a instructor for the previous 30 years, I’ve been lucky to obtain considerate items of thanks and appreciation from my college students and their households throughout the vacation season and on the finish of the college yr.
These items usually embrace mugs, goodies, baked items or present playing cards. (Between us, I’ll admit that my favourite items are notes of appreciation from college students and oldsters.)
In return, I’ve at all times taken the time to jot down cautious and private thank-you notes for every of those items. A part of my motivation has been to set an instance for my college students, demonstrating the significance of expressing gratitude via a handwritten word.
Nonetheless, this observe is time-consuming, notably throughout my breaks, when the sheer quantity of letters overwhelms me.
At Christmas this yr, the time it took prompted me to pause and replicate: Is it actually crucial to jot down a thank-you word for a thank-you present? It feels a bit round.
I can’t think about not writing the notes, however I really feel compelled to ask: Would an easier acknowledgment suffice, or is that this a practice I ought to proceed?
GENTLE READER: Sure! Proceed!
Allow us to not threat perpetuating that prevalent, however completely false, concept {that a} current given in thanks needn’t be acknowledged — that it will result in a loop during which the giver and recipient would spend the remainder of their lives thanking one another.
Nonsense. A letter of thanks doesn’t require a response; a gift, given for no matter motive, does.
These kids had been in all probability considerably concerned in providing you with these presents — they might even have chosen them. Do you wish to go away them questioning in case you even cared?
Kids virtually by no means obtain letters (nicely, neither do adults, nowadays), so these can be particular. You respect letters from them and their mother and father, so that you ought to know how a lot they might respect letters from you.
And it will likely be an extra boon to the mother and father who’re requiring their kids to jot down letters of thanks for his or her birthday and vacation presents.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m completely in a wheelchair on account of an harm. There’s nothing flawed with my thoughts.
Many individuals assume I can not converse for myself, and a few transfer my wheelchair in instructions I don’t want to go.
What can I say to those strangers to convey that I’m able to talking for myself and that I don’t care to be handled like a chunk of furnishings?
Some individuals are thoughtful — holding doorways for me and asking if I would really like assist. Others are fairly impolite.
GENTLE READER: “Excuse me, but I am right here” to those that speak above you. And “STOP!” to anybody impolite sufficient to maneuver your wheelchair with out your permission.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m feeling caught about how to reply to a textual content message that mixes a thank-you and a praise.
For instance, would you reply to a textual content message that claims, “Thank you for the delicious dinner” with a “thank you” (for appreciating the dinner), a “you’re welcome” (for the thank-you), or each?
GENTLE READER: Neither. You’re off free.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
