DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’d love your ideas on the way to reply firmly to those statements.
1. I’ve three well-behaved kids, however after we go wherever, individuals comment, “You have your hands full.” It’s mentioned with a unfavourable tone. I really like my children and don’t need them to listen to unwelcome remarks.
2. My husband is a bigger individual, and oftentimes, random strangers will name him “big guy” or “boss.” I feel it’s impolite to attract consideration to his measurement.
GENTLE READER: In each instances: “Oh, thank you.”
Miss Manners guarantees that nobody will dare clarify that their remark was not supposed as a praise.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve been mates with somebody for 12 years. We used to do the whole lot collectively, and had been even roommates for some time.
Then she met a rich man on the coast. I’ve met him a handful of occasions, and he all the time appears good. They’re now married and reside on a yacht.
My husband and I spend most of our summer time holidays on the identical coastal city the place they reside. They’ve invited many individuals to come back and spend weekends with them on the boat; nevertheless, we have now by no means been invited. Not even after we are on the town for every week. Not for a lot as a glass of wine.
It’s not in regards to the boat, it’s simply that I really feel that one thing is off. Perhaps her husband doesn’t like us, however she would by no means inform me that.
They invite us to their kids’s weddings (and there have been many), and we all the time present up with a present in hand. They solely invite us to occasions the place we really feel obligated to convey items; my buddy by no means desires to get collectively and simply meet up with one another.
Is it time to surrender and settle for that we’re now not mates?
GENTLE READER: However you’re nonetheless mates, or you wouldn’t be invited to household events. Please save that widespread accusation about gift-grabbing for invites from individuals you hardly know.
The very fact is that many friendships do change in depth through the years. It might be that the husband feels much less suitable with you and your husband. It might be that as an alternative of his making an effort to know you, they’ve simply not considered including you to their joint circle. It might be that as you’re already staying of their city, they don’t consider having you as houseguests on the yacht. And it might be any variety of different causes.
Miss Manners suspects that you simply assume it has to do with their cash. Why? And in that case, why would you assume them desperate to squeeze a marriage current out of you?
It’s not time to surrender; it’s time to understand that you’re not as shut as you as soon as had been — and might be once more, sometime.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sometimes electronic mail companies for issues similar to product info. What’s the appropriate salutation to make use of when the recipient, and their gender, is unknown? “To whom it may concern” appears chilly.
GENTLE READER: Simply how heat are your emotions for these companies and their unknown representatives? Miss Manners guarantees you that nobody will really feel lovelorn should you use that enterprise salutation.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
