DEAR MISS MANNERS: I maintain an annual occasion, for which I rent an individual to help me in organising, sustaining the buffet and serving drinks. She has all the time achieved an awesome job.
At the newest occasion, nonetheless, I observed she had arrange a tip jar subsequent to the drinks. I used to be horrified.
I went over and grabbed the jar, then pulled her apart and mentioned that I used to be sorry that she didn’t really feel I used to be paying her sufficient, and that she felt the necessity to search compensation from my company. I instructed her to inform me how a lot she felt like I used to be underpaying her, and that I might compensate her so she didn’t want a tip jar.
I went again to the chums I had been chatting with and defined what occurred. All of them thought it was completely applicable for her to have a tip jar.
After the occasion, I known as my mom and instructed her what occurred. Like me, she was horrified that somebody would search ideas at a celebration that I used to be internet hosting.
Who do you suppose is true right here? Ought to I’ve let her maintain the tip jar out?
GENTLE READER: Inclined to aspect with moms every time doable, Miss Manners is blissful to say she agrees with yours. And with you.
It’s impolite to go away out a tip jar in a personal residence. It screams, as you indicated, that your workers will not be glad with their pay — or are crassly in search of further.
Your method was justified and your supply beneficiant, though you didn’t point out if the employee took you up on it. Or if you’re nonetheless using her.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are intensely divided over the appropriateness of utilizing the kitchen sink to scrub one’s fingers for something apart from meals prep.
I grew up in a home the place the lavatory was all the way in which throughout the home from the kitchen. We had been all the time welcome to make use of the kitchen sink to scrub our fingers earlier than meals, so long as we didn’t get in the way in which of the cook dinner.
In my present residence (with 5 youngsters), there may be one corridor lavatory upstairs, plus a tiny powder room downstairs. I don’t use the latter for a lot, for the reason that door opens to dam a fundamental thoroughfare and my darling boys have a tendency to go away the bathroom seat up.
Is it certainly mannerless to make use of the kitchen sink for common hand-washing? Ought to I ship the kids to queue on the upstairs corridor bathtub earlier than dinner?
I’ll have been raised by wolves, but when I do know higher, maybe I can do higher.
GENTLE READER: Even Miss Manners, who was most decidedly not reared by wolves, is having problem distinguishing between meals prep hand-washing and common hand-washing. Is it the diploma of filth?
In any case, she would suppose the division of toilet labor infinitely higher than risking soiled banisters or destroying the powder room. Notably for the reason that towels there are dangerously near an open bathroom seat.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s the etiquette about flossing your tooth at a desk the place others are consuming?
GENTLE READER: To not.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
